Letters to Tyelkormo
by Duilin
Summary: So...it happened like this. Now I'm trapped in the washroom, with a messenger dove - very funny, Kano - ink, pen, and parchment. Why not send me a letter? T for Tyelkormo in general.
1. Chapter 1

**Simply put, I was inspired. By the 'Letters to _" chain in the Hetalia archive!  
>So what better than to write one myself...for <em>Celegorm<em>, princely and arrogant?  
><strong>Nah, _jeg fleiper bare_, Tyelkormo, _jegelskerdeg (Iloveyou)_. (Cough)

I'm sick. I think it either might be a cold, or the flu. Probably a cold.  
>It started out with a sore throat and aching lungs... Any clue to what it is, anyone?<p>

* * *

><p>Hello.<p>

I am Tyelkormo.

Father said I should socialise a bit more instead of hunting, watching beautiful ladies, conversing with beautiful ladies (basically doing anything involving beautiful ladies; I'm not even allowed to speak to Mother that much), and eating. Because Huan accompanies me on hunting, I'm not allowed to feed him or spend time with him for every hour of the day (that I don't spend talking with Aracánë) anymore.

Father suggested that I work in the forge with him, so I could get to know Curvo better.

I laughed at that.

Currently, I am scrubbing the floors of the washroom tiles, and you won't believe what has been _growing_ on the marble.

Note: Do not laugh at Father.

Maitimo came up with the more creative way of locking me in the bathroom and giving the key to the twins. Now, I almost could have used that to my advantage, had they not been Pitya and Telvo. Had they not been the _Ambarussa_. So, naturally, they lost the key, and Maitimo is currently at the marketplace, trying to get a locksmith on the job, because if Father finds out, hell will freeze over. I can almost imagine what he'll say too:

"_No son of mine gets locked in a washroom! You were trained by _me!_ You should know even the shadiest of tricks, such as picking a lock!"_

Makalaurë thought it would be amusing to loan me his messenger dove—apparently, Father thinks pigeons are second-rate and lower class—ink pen, and enough parchment to last a century. Oh _yes_, Kano, I am talking about _you_. You'll be famous when this gets on the news. Father is already famous.

So, send me a letter. Because I'm extremely bored, and I won't be getting out of this washroom any soon.

Maitimo is not good at espionage.

This is as close as I'll get to begging.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, Tyelkormo got punished.<br>This is set during the Valinor-era.**

**Send in a letter in form of PM, review, or both in case I don't get either!**

_Tyelkormo is begging you—for his sanity._


	2. Chapter 2

**I received your letters. Thank you.**

For those of you now currently reading this, Maitimo came back from the market, and he told me that Curvo refused to help. I don't understand - he was going to the market, and he asked our little brother for help? How does that tie together? He obviously didn't go to the market.

Well, first, let me answer all of the letters, and I will disclose more information on my current situation. Just so you know, the tiles are shining beautifully - rather like someone's eyes. I see him whenever I look into the mirror, by the way.

* * *

><p><em>To Tyelkormo, from Louisa:<em>  
><em>When you say, "had it not been the Ambarussa,' what were you suggesting?<em>

Dear Louisa,

Well, Louisa, my little brothers...are the Ambarussa. If you've lived with them for twenty years, you'll know that they easily forget things and let their minds wander. I don't know what Maitimo was thinking when he entrusted the key to them. Just like Maitimo, they are little mischief makers. Maitimo loves to cause all sorts of trouble in this household. Contrary to popular belief, I am one of the good children in this household. It's just too bad that my constantly rejecting ladies in their proposition to go out for tea in favor of going hunting with my half-uncle's daughter is something widespread across Tirion.

Mother told us that she wanted the perfect children; therefore she had seven of us.

I think she might have worded that wrong, because all five of us took offense to that.

But we may never know...

* * *

><p><em>Dear Turco.<em>

_Feanor is right. You should socialise more. Instead of talking to pretty ladies. It really serves you right, Nelyo locking you in the washroom, then giving the key to the twins, who lost it. Kano shouldn't have given you his dove. Knowing you, you'd probably kill it and eat it. I hope you have time to think a bit, as you don't do that usually._

_best of luck (you're going to need it)_

_Simpa_

Dear Simpa,

Gee, Simpa. I'm glad to receive your sympathy, or lack thereof. And you know Kano is just too good-hearted to leave me in a washroom by myself without entertainment. I see no reason why Maitimo should give the damn thing to the twins; surely he could have given it to Curvo! At least Curvo wouldn't have lost the key, albeit the fact that he wouldn't unlock the door either. He's too much like father to see reason as to why to give me freedom from a _toilet_ room.

I feel the love radiating off of your signature. And I take offense to that - I do think a lot. The blonde stereotype only works with the Vanyar.

**Postscript: **It's not my fault that the ladies like to talk to me. Especially the beautiful ones. It's honestly just too bad that none of them really care for staying in a relationship with me. I bet Irissë would. But it wouldn't really be a relationship, considering the fact that she constantly changes her partner in companionship. One day she'll settle down. I promise you.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_Though you'll probably break all of your father's regulations on hunting and pick up your weapons to come kill me for saying this, I'm saying it anyway: I'm very sorry you're trapped in the washroom, but your troubles are quite amusing to read about! It's hilarious the way you tell the story, complete with mockery of your brothers! Do you think you'll be trapped in there long, though? And here's some cake in case you get hungry! *ties it onto the aristocratic messenger dove and tells said bird NOT to take it to Makalaurë*_

_-Crackers_

Dear Crackers,

Fascinating name. I like eating saltine crackers. However, if you are an Elf, that I assure you that I am not a cannibal. I'm sorry that I got trapped in the washroom too...but I don't find it amusing that you find it amusing to read about my tragic fate. I am doomed to forever stare upon the white cerulean surface that is the toilet bowl (AND YES, TOILET BOWLS DO EXIST. MY FATHER INVENTED THEM OUT OF CONVENIENCE). I think I will be trapped.

Or, at least, I prefer to be trapped. We all know that Maitimo is going to get caught trying to sneak a locksmith into our house and to the washroom, and Father is going to have a running fit because we've asked someone else who is not nearly as skilled as him to open a locked door. Have I mentioned that had Maitimo not given the twins the damn key, I wouldn't be in this situation where my heart is currently dreading every single footstep past the washroom door?

Thank you for the cake...and...there's a bird feather in it. Perhaps that was the reason why Makalaurë was cackling downstairs?

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_You should have known better, you really should have known better. What possessed you to laugh at your father in the first place? I feel for you though, and I do hope Maitimo comes back soon, if only to keep you from getting into trouble for not knowing how to pick a lock. You father probably does know how to do that too, he knows everything! Well, here's hoping you don't go insane locked in there._

_With love,_

_Ataralassie_

Dear Ataralassie,

I really, actually don't know better. But the idea was so preposterous that I couldn't resist. At least I held it back to some degree - if I had truly expressed my feelings, I would be incapitated with laughter. Thank you for your sympathy. I would never try to pick the lock. That is a tedious task. Not that I know how to do it anyway.

And, sadly, Father knows everything. It's just too bad that he knew of the time that I accidently burned his favorite handkerchief.

**Postscript: **You sound like a lovely lady. If I ever get out of this blasted washroom, would you be willing to go on an outing with me? We could do whatever you like.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_Sorry to hear you got locked in the washroom. It really is such a shame, since washrooms are so dull. Of course, you do not need me telling you that, but, as my father always said, a little over explaining never did anyone any harm. Do not laugh at your father? I should say not. My goodness, I just smirked at Fëanáro once, and he threw me out of his house. (And since I happened to be in your brother's room on the second floor, that really was not a pleasant thing.) _

_But enough of my woes! Let us get back to yours! You really do have a sweet brother, by the way. If you do not appreciate that, you had better. If I had been locked in a washroom, Turukáno would have just laughed into his hands, and Irissë would have giggled madly where she stood. Do not ask me what I ever did to be treated in that fashion, I really cannot say. Ah yes, I was going to ask you – does this washroom have a window, and, if so, can you climb down? _

_Once again, I truly am sorry for your present situation, and I would volunteer my services as a lock picker, except that I am not allowed over at your house at the moment for a reason I would rather not disclose. _

_Your loving cousin, _

_Findekáno_

_p.s. You had it coming!_

Dear Findekáno,

**You have no idea.** After I get out of here, I am going to convince Ammë to paint the walls pitch. Oh, and Atar tends to be like that. No one else can be condescending except for him. That's one of the rules of the Eldar. He probably had all sorts of ideas of whatever you were doing with Maitimo...which reminds me; what were you doing with him? I have a feeling this relates to your banishment from the house. Also, which brother? I appreciate both of my older brothers; but I certainly do not find being locked in the washroom something to appreciate.

I shall try to refrain from asking.

The washroom does have a window.

Too bad it's so small that only the messenger dove can fit through it with a bundle of letters. I don't think I'd be able to fit through it, let alone climb down. But thank you for your sympathy. It's too bad you can't come over now...perhaps you could send me some tips on breaking through a door? I would've been out by now had I not crushed any instinct to kick open the door with sheer force.

**Postscript:** I may have had it coming, but you know what's coming your way? I am currently laughing right now. _Tell Irissë that I'll be picking her up next Monday at the seventh hour of Laurelin's waning. _I know that Uncle is going to kill me, but it's worth it. That makes us even; my brother, your sister.

* * *

><p>Well, those are the letters for now! If you want to send another reply to my reply, go ahead. Please. I'll respond heartily and try to keep out some of the sarcasm that accompanies most of my phrases. Also, I never knew that tiles could shine so bright...<p>

I am never doing chores so soon again. I believe this earns me a three week period of chore-free relaxation.

My eyes are hurting.

And I'm starting to get bored.

I'm thinking about banishing toilet bowls from Tirion, but then I'd have to sign a petition.

Oh, and if someone sees Huan, tell him that I'm currently in the washroom. Maybe he'll help break me out; Ammë won't have a conniption if he does it.

* * *

><p><strong>And that's it for this time!<br>If you want to send a reply to the reply, as mentioned above, feel free to do so! It's nice to speak to people who like to keep up conversations! Tyelkormo likes company.**

**Or, if you're new to this whole thing, just type in a little sentence, phrase, whatever. It doesn't even have to be a full, proper letter. Just some sort of thing that Tyelkormo can remark - I mean...respond to.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tyelkormo elaborates...on his relationship with his brothers.  
>And despite what people think, he's a sweet guy.<strong>

Until shite hits the fan and he gets angry.

_As said...he is quick to anger...but that's rarely occurs in Valinor. I don't think that anyone would purposely anger him, because it takes a lot. He has a good temper, but he gets angry very easily, without rational thought, when shite gets personal.**  
><strong>_**Only in Middle-earth will he put on that mask.**

**Oh, and, if the replies seem particularly snarky, it's not me writing them.  
>Or, maybe it is, but I'm in Tyelkormo mode.<strong>

* * *

><p>Have I ever mentioned how much I hate tragic romance novels? I continuously tell Moryo, and we sympathise with each other because we both hate it. So why is it that Moryo sends me a book on a tragic romance between a lord's daughter and a ruffian on the streets?<p>

Thanks a lot, brother. And I thought you were turning out alright after all.

Also today, the twins apologised for losing the key. I told them I was fine with it. The twins are absolutely adorable when they're meek. But it's really Curvo who's got everyone at beck and call, wrapped around his dexterous finger. Little bugger...not that I don't love him, but when he was small, he nearly broke _mine. _We used to have fun in the castle...but now we've moved away from that place and to a lake inside of Tirion. (Trust me, it's a big hill, and even bigger world.)

Speaking of which; I have a nice view of the lake from the washroom, through the small window.

However, I should not have been admiring it when the dove zoomed into the window...and hit me. In the eye. So...my eye's not bleeding - thank Eru - but it hurts. The skin around it is swollen, though. I could feel sorry for myself, but handsome males don't do such things as mope around. You see; Kano - he didn't mope around after he pretty much blew his chance with this girl...and then got it back again. Lucky Elf. (I am not naming any names.)

Well, I should probably start answering letters now...in the order given.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Turco,<em>

_Are you really sure the blonde stereotype only works with the Vanyar? Actually, now that I loner it a bit more I realise that you do think a lot. A lot about women and hunting. If you are good I'll send some home cooked profiteroles with extra cream (if you're not rude) with my next letter._

_Your (mostly) loving foster-sister,_

_Ëarilindë _

_P.S The ladies only talk to you because you're a prince. If you were a road sweeper or something they wouldn't even SEE you._

Dear Simpa,

Yes, I am very sure. And I do not!  
>I take a lot of offense to that! Don't think for one moment that I don't care about our family. You make me sound like an insensitive bastard. Okay...sure, I do think a lot about those two things, but I have plenty of brain capacity to think about everything else!<p>

Because I am currently taking offense due to you thinking I am a narrow-minded, blonde idiot, I think I'd rather starve in the bathroom. Give them to Russandol, or the Ambarussa.

**Postscript**: _You don't have to waste your kindness on me.  
><em>**Post-postscript: **If I get out of this washroom, and I start doing that, the ladies only get more attracted to me. But I'd never do that, because Irissë would scorn that action as weak and submissive, which I am not. But I'm afraid no one will ever understand me.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_Yes, I'll admit, the idea of you working in a forge all day is rather preposterous. Besides which, it would deprive all of us lucky ladies the sight of another handsome Noldorin prince ;). _

_So Maitimo went to Curvo for help? After saying he went to the Market? Well, that doesn't sound right at all! If you ask me, it sounds like he's up to something. Maybe he's having a bit too much fun, torturing you like this?_

_The time you accidentally burned your fathers favorite handkerchief, you say? What were you doing with that around fire anyway? Are all of you family pyromaniacs? I'm kidding, of course...well, mostly._

_And yes, Tyelcormo, I'll have you know I am a very lovely lady. If you do ever manage to escape your prison I'll be happy to go on an outing with you, as a friend, of course. My heart already happens to belong to another one of your brothers, who I admire from afar. (I'm not telling you who though, your going to have to guess!)_

_Good luck with...well, everything. I'll keep an eye out for Huan!_

_With love,_

_Ataralassie_

Dear Ataralassie,

The letter that I had originally meant to send you is now down the toilet drain. As you can tell, I am very, very angry at the toilet. There is now a dent in it. And the idea is rather preposterous, isn't it? (_Damn toilet... It'll never see the light of day after I get out of this place._) That's why I laughed, after all. But, I have to agree with you; handsome Noldorin prince indeed. I'm glad we concur.

It actually doesn't tie together at all, but still, Curvo refused! The little bugger... If Maitimo's having fun right now, then I have only one phrase to say about him, and that's: Revenge is sweet, but time makes it even sweeter. And I burned Atar's handkerchief because...well...it was either me or the inanimate cloth, and I had no intention of entertaining first-degree burns on my body. So I did the logical thing and cast the handkerchief away like an old hunting leather. Actually, I would never cast aside an old hunting leather - I prefer those over the new ones that people claim to be '_in fashion' _these days.

You see, Atar wanted the thing because he wanted to wipe the soot off his boots. But he wasn't the one who had to explain to Queen Indis why her handmade handkerchief was now a pile of ash outside the front door of the forge. So, you see, when I said Father's 'favorite handkerchief,' I was lying. Or, rather, I said it sarcastically.

We're not actually a family of pyromaniacs...that's just Atar. He sets fire to whatever he deems unfit to remain at the end of each week upon inspection. We gather around the lake and burn whatever it is. Much like a ceremony, but unceremoniously.

**Postscript: **I know it's Kano. And Huan: he's easily lured by raw fish.  
><strong>Post-postscript: <strong>That's just as well. I'll take you to see the cleft of Calacirya. It's only a few hours on horse.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript<strong>**:**_ Attached is a picture of Makalaurë sleeping. I have my sources (younger twin brothers)._

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_It is a great relief to my mind that you are not a cannibal! Alas! when you are an Elf named after a food, it can be quite difficult to convince others that you are not, in fact, edible!_

_Your fate is certainly tragic, with only the toilet bowl and those you're writing letters to for company, at least until the locksmith comes! I don't blame you for dreading his coming, though; I know I'd rather be trapped in a washroom than be witness to the wrath of your father, great though he is! (I never knew he invented the toilet! Such a brilliant mind to think of something so very useful...)_

_I'm sorry the cake had a feather in it! I guess that's what happens when I forget to wrap food... Why, oh, why does Makalaure mock my lack of logic skills? Anyway, this time I'm including some saltines (since you said you liked them!) and wrapping them up securely._

_-Crackers_

Dear Crackers,

I am glad to bring relief to your worries, then. But I have never met an Elf named after food... It isn't too soon. And I agree; the toilet bowl is a horror only witnessed by two people in this life of mine; and that is Maitimo and me. You see, I never told you this, but when I was little, Maitimo locked himself into the washroom (_and now he's done it to me)_ and refused to come out until Makalaurë sang him out of his mood and out of the washroom.

I don't think you'd want to witness the wrath of Atar...at all. You should have seen him when he reacted to the news of one of my brothers and our c - ehm...that's a secret. I'm sorry. Maybe one day, when Atar isn't so touchy on the subject of the loss of a potential heir, I'll tell you. I promise.

And, it's fine. Makalaurë knows how to stump my parade without rain.

**Postscript: **Thanks for the saltine crackers.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> They taste sweet.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript: <strong>_Dammit, Makalaurë!_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo<em>

_It's not that bad been locked in a washroom actually! I spend 2 hours having a bath yesterday. Nice tale btw  
>Hamfast Gamgee<em>

Dear Hamfast,

There is taking a bath, and then there is taking a bath without a change of clothes. I'm stuck with the latter, sadly enough. I only wish I had the luxury of taking a bath now...with a towel and, preferably, a tunic and pants. Just so you know, I don't wear socks around the house. They really...bug me. Socks. You know when there's that tickling sensation on the back of your neck and you don't know what it is? When I wear socks, I get that feeling. Except it's worse, because I'm ticklish there.

So I don't wear socks.

Thank you...I suppose? And...what does 'btw' mean?

**Postscript:** Young people and their slang...  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> You wouldn't mind sending me a package of clothes, would you? Stuck in a washroom for an entire day isn't exactly helping my nerves... (Thank you in advance.)

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_I was talking about Káno, that sweetheart of a brother who lent you his messenger dove and parchment. Like I said, my siblings would not have been that kind. _

_What was I doing with Maitimo? Why, plotting to steal the crown from Grandfather and consequently rule the world, of course! No, not really. But from the look on your father's face, you would have thought we were. We were playing a game of backgammon, actually. Unfortunately, your father consequently engaged me in a conversation, which I thought rather disturbing, until he said something so utterly unbelievable, I smirked; at which point, he threw me out the window. _

_My goodness, it really is too bad that your window is so small; places like that make me claustrophobic, what with the walls closing tight about you, and the air slowly draining away, until you are left, gasping for nothing, as you are crushed slowly by the walls you thought at first would protect you. You would not happen to be suffering from such a plight, would you? I truly hope not. _

_You could always try picking the lock. Just take one of your hairpins and use that. That failing, try hitting the door forcefully just below the knob, or, if the hinges are on the inside, try taking the door off that way. _

_As for my temporary banishment, nothing under the sky would get me to tell you. Although, I can assure you it was not related to the window incident, which happened some years ago._

_Well, once again, I hope to hear that you have been freed some time soon. Until then, you have my sympathies. _

_Your loving cousin,_

_Findekáno_

_p.s. You have six brothers and I have only one sister, so that would make us even on no accounts, and, if you so much as touch her, I'll destroy your reputation so badly that you'll never recover it, and no beautiful lady will want to talk to you, much less court you, ever! (And I have the ever-devoted Aikanáro and Angaráto on my side. Ha.)_

Dear Findekáno,

I have decided to address the _postscript_ first. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I have Curvo on my side. You know what he is called. Curufin the Crafty. And he's called the crafty because he has the amazing ability to wrap everyone around his little finger. As I have mentioned before. Also, _I have no such intentions_. It's not my fault if she accidently trips on a tree root and I help bind her ankle. It was only **once.** **ONCE**. And I need no beautiful lady... They don't really like me that much anyway. It's just the looks that keep them coming, since they know Maitimo has certainly no such interest.

Describe my father's face and I'll tell you what he was thinking. I've seen so many different faces, for our family is just...well... I don't think I can explain it. But he makes many expressions, and we've learned to discern each one.

...Ruling the world? Really? Which reminds me; Kano would make the perfect king. Good temperament, talent, and the ability to stay in his seat when he finds out that his father has remarried. Of course, I am not alluding to a certain person in the household who has currently no idea of my whereabouts...

Of course I appreciate my brother! He's the calmest child in the family... Ironic that I'm referring to him as a child. He's always been...there. And not in the creepish, stalker-ish way either. He's got my back, and I've got his. At least, one day, when he gets in trouble, I'll have his. But I can't imagine Makalaurë getting into trouble, perfect son that he is. He's got impeccable behaviour. Kiss-up to the other nobles as well. They adore him. Or, at least, they adore his unintentional flattery. He has the power to fan their flaming egos with his voice, and he won't even realise it because it's called being _polite_, and not many people have that redeeming quality.

There's one problem with your solution to picking the lock, my dear cousin. _I don't have hair pins. _It's funny how people always think I have hair pins. Do I look like a feminine type of guy to you? I have _muscles._ I go _hunting_. I have a _hunting companion._ Did I mention that I own a sword that is seven feet long? And no innuendos please. I am being perfectly honest.

If you won't tell me, I won't harp on you. But, thankfully, it's not related to the window incident...but I didn't say I wouldn't guess. Thank you for the sympathies, though.

**Postscript:** It's not my fault your parents won't get it on like mine.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> Let's forget about the postscript; did you do something like me and burn something of Atar's?  
><strong>Post-post-postscript: <strong>Eru... My reputation isn't that good, so if you're going to trod it into the ground, I have nothing to say. Most of the beautiful ladies in Tirion have either been rejected, or they have knowledge that they will be. I haven't spoken to one in a long time... I'm just stuck to speaking with Nerwen and Irissë_. _Not that their company isn't favorable, but, seriously - I know how good Angárato is at skewering someone alive. Again, I say; _I have Curvo on my side. _I have Curufinwë Fëanorion on my side. And I'd like to rub it in a bit more, except, _I have the Ambarussa _on my side too. If you know what trouble Pitya and Telvo can make, then you have been warned.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postcript: <strong>Goodness... I haven't used that many posts in the postscript for a long time. But I promise you, I have no intention of touching Irissë at all. If you want to resort to the typical method of accompanying us next Monday, then, by all means do so. Then I won't be stuck having to listen to Irissë drone on about her brand of shampoo, or something like that.

* * *

><p>I have just received...<em>cookies<em>...

Okay, who sent these? They smell like fish.

...I have a bad feeling about this.

* * *

><p><strong>Please note that the references to Twisted...aren't really references. This is an alternate universe from Twisted. <strong>So, don't connect them...please. I don't want those two stories to be linked together, although some similarities could be noted.  
><strong>This is just normal, Valinor-era; all of the sons of Fëanor were born before Finwë remarried, but that doesn't really make a difference; they still got along well. I prefer to stay with the actual course of the story, so we can presume that this is canon. Although I'm not sure about the implications of Maedhros and Fingon, this is just for show, so you shouldn't take it too seriously.<br>**And, thank you, _Mornen_, for assuming the role of Findekáno; I find his letters quite funny. Our bantering, from Tyelkormo to Findekáno, is really something new for a change.  
><strong>If you guys want to, er, be some sort of canon character mailing Tyelkormo, feel free.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Really, this has just turned into responding to letters. Ai...

* * *

><p><em>Dearest Turco,<em>

_I have news! I have just arrived in Tirion for my half-term holidays - and before you ask why Kano was home before me, Lindaliel, Isilfinde and I went to the various festivals and fairs in the city - they are spectacular! There was a performance where somebody had trained piglets to do synchronised swimming! We also went diving (from the cliffs - please don't tell Atar, Amme or Maitimo) and swimming. Just to be contrary, I will send the profiteroles (carefully packaged). If they have any paint on them, just brush it off (I was doing a 'portrait' of Maitimo, which one of his fangirls had threatened me to do. Originally it was... requiring Maitimo to undress, but we both refused to do that.)_

_I do apologise for making you seem insensitive (but we all have the right to be insensitive - you do know that, right? I mean, look at me - I'm insensitive all the time!). Anyhow, when you get out, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A GAME OF CHARADES (because I am random like that, and because I CAN!)._

_Love, Simpa_

_P.S I have enclosed some hairpins (they have been known to pick locks before - I used them the time you and Curvo locked me in the music room (why did you choose the music room? You know I like it in there - why didn't you lock me in the forge as you know of my pyrophobia! I would have happily stayed in the music room all day, had it not been for hunger. However, while I was in there, I did manage to perfect that waltz I had been struggling with - you know, the one for my Royal Aqualonde School of Music entrance tests - if you hadn't locked me in there, I would never have passed! Thank you!) But what I want to know is why you decided to lock me in - what did I do to you?)_

_P.P.S I do believe you would need to make yourself seem more attractive - after all, you name does not mean 'Well shaped one', like someone we know, but 'Hasty riser' if I am not mistaken... I was just teasing. I know you're handsome - you are a son of Feanaro, after all!_

_P.P.P.S While in Aqualonde I purchased gifts for you, Nelyo, Kano, Moryo, Curvo, Telvo, Pityo, Amme and Atar. Can you guess what I bought?_

_P.P.P.P.S I have also inclosed your favourite book. It must be terribly dull in there!_

_P.P.P.P.P.S I will now retreat to my garden with a large barrel of green apples and a vat of green tea. The twins are doing my head in._

_P.P.P.P.P.P.S The paint was watercolour, FYI (for your information)_

Dear Simpa,

Good thing you're back! It's getting rather dull in the washroom. As a responsible brother, I should ask... Did you meet anyone there to your fancy? And how are your friends doing? (It really seems as if I'm slowly changing in this washroom - someone hurry up and get me _out of here_...) It must have been nice, jumping off of cliffs. If I tell Maitimo, I think he'll strangle both of us. And if the profiteroles are carefully packaged, I don't think that ensures that Kano won't be able to stick a syringe in it and put some sort of sweetener or salt in it.

Oh goodness. Was Finde - oh, right...he's banned from the house, currently.

It's fine - one gets used to it. AND BRING IT ON. I am the _master_ of charades.

**Postscript:** I don't know _how_ to pick a lock. I chose the music room? Curvo chose the music room. For once, I actually listened to him because he was lecturing me about how I never really followed along with what he did, so I decided to just go along with it. I locked you in there, for your friends are really...just...really. And if you weren't there to greet them, they'd leave in an hour. Unless Findekáno's there; then your friend will try to get your blonde friend to speak with him.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> I know I'm handsome too, but I'm glad we are on the same page... I'm teasing also.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> Thanks, Simpa. I bet you bought new hunting leathers, or a bow, for me. Thank you in advance.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript:<strong> It is terribly dull; thanks for the book though.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_I am sorry about your plight. I apologize that I haven't written earlier, but I was busy all day. I had lessons with both Aule and Yavanna, and an athletic trying session with my Uncle Nolo. Well, to be honest that is not entirely the reason why I've been busy. I have been trying to hide from Oreme. I sort of broke his horn, sorry, Turko, I know how much you love running after it. Anyway, he is really, really angry and really, really fast and Nahir is even faster, and I am getting scared. I am sending you the bathroom key-um, I once stole it from your house when I was over, hope you still have the same locks-so, if you do escape please talk to Oreme. I know his horn can be fixed! I am getting desperate, right now, I am in the oven, but I'll have to move on soon, Amil's making bread. If the key doesn't work try the hair pins! I know, I know I said I wasn't afraid of anything but have you ever seen Oreme angry? I am getting desperate._

_Your very frightened cousin, _

_Nerwen_

_p.s. Um, would you kindly forget that I said that I had stolen the key from your house, I meant to say borrowed._

_p.p.s. If you can't get out do you have any suggestions on how to deal with Oreme?_

_p.p.p.s. Is there anything you would ask in payment? I am exactly sure what you like...well, that is what you would want other people to think you want. I know what you want._

Dear Nerwen,

You _sort of_ broke his horn? I give you props for that; I've been trying to break it for years! It always escapes my reach. And...you have an athletic session with Uncle? _Seriously?_ Uncle _Nolo_? I'd be laughing, unless I want to draw attention to the washroom. So I'll just settle for cackling. As for placating Oromë, the best thing to do is ask Atar (my Atar) to fix it. Do you have the fragments? Or some sort of sketch for it? I'm sure Atar could fix it...or make a new one. After all, Oromë's second horn (after he broke his first one, which was the one used in the time of Grandfather) was made by Atar.

If there's not a single glance of hope, then I'll talk to him. But I'm pretty sure that he'll get over it. Just hide...in the washroom. Like me. You could even come over and hide in the washroom with me. Oh, and thank you for the key...but that key is actually...um...used for the cabinets in the washroom. Atar is a bit paranoid about things like this, so he keeps his cabinets under lock and key. And I don't know how to pick a lock. I tried one, and Simpa sent me a hair pin, but I've only succeeded in breaking the hair pin and not out of the washroom.

It's okay, Nerwen; we all get afraid sometimes. I'm afraid of Irissë when she doesn't shoot the animal like she's supposed to, and the thing goes scampering off. And then she gets angry. That's when I get scared.

**Postscript:** I won't ask why you 'borrowed' the key, but I won't deny that I'm not curious...  
><strong>Post-postscript: <strong>Play a sonata to him. He'll fall asleep, and then you can run. (Valar, surprisingly enough, can fall asleep.)  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> I wish my father would stop bugging me about talking with beautiful ladies; half of them don't even see me anymore because I've clearly expressed no interest. I've learned my lesson in the past; nothing good can come from being in a romantic relationship with them.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript:<strong> _The oven?_

* * *

><p><strong>Makalaurë! Why that's preposterous! That Ridiculous! That's...that's...that's..yes, we both know I'm lying through my teeth. Hmmm, maybe I should start this letter again.<strong>

_Dear Tyelcormo,_

_That's unfair. I thought it was only Artanis and Findaráto who could read minds! Out of all six of your brothers, how were you able to guess the right one so easily? Well, I suppose I should thank you for the picture. He is adorable when he's asleep, isn't he?_

_ummm..._

_Welll, moving on..._

_Your family really does that? Every week? I don't suppose your Atar is called the Spirit of Fire for nothing. I never imagined the name would turn out to have such a literal meaning though!_

_Tyelco, please, do not try and avenge yourself on Maitimo. He's older, stronger and more experienced than you. He is going to see whatever you plan on doing from a mile off and he will be prepared, even if you get Curvo and the Ambarussa to help you and use their most devious tricks. I'd rather not hear about you embarrassing yourself, if that's not too much to ask._

_Moryo has a very twisted sense of humor. I approve! Ummm...I'm guessing that you don't though. Maybe one day you'll be able to look back on this and laugh! Or, maybe not..._

_I set out the fish for Huan, like you said. He's a magnificent dog, such a beautiful creature! Your lucky to have him. Anyway I told him about your current situation, so let's see what that comes of it._

_Oh! you'll really take me to see the cleft of Calacirya? It's been so long since I was there last! To see the stars shining there, they are so beautiful! I don't really mind where you take me, I love wandering and exploring. Today, I've visited the gardens of Lórien and am currently writing this letter sitting under a willow, for instance. _

_I hope you get freed soon._

_With love,_

_Ataralassie_

Dear Ataralassie,

I'm just all-knowing like that. Nerwen can actually read minds; Findaráto just knows how to analyze people down to the critical point. You're welcome for the picture, by the way. But I don't...really cross those boundaries, my friend. I don't...how do you young people say it? _play on that side of the field?_ Oh well. I am not that type of hunter, I suppose. Excuse my...badly phrased metaphor. And yes, Atar does it every week. It'll only be soon when he decides to burn Queen Ind - er...ehm...perhaps we shouldn't touch on that subject.

I won't be embarrassing myself. I promise you. Maitimo has been fooled before. And I have fooled him before. In fact, he's only been fooled twice, once by me, once by Findekáno. With Findekáno - well, he did it on purpose. I didn't mean to dupe Maitimo at the time, but now that I look back on it, it was _hilarious_. But Moryo's sense of humor? No. He's sadistic.

Thanks for setting the fish out for Huan; he loves fish. More than meat... You can converse with animals? I thought I was the only Elf who could do that... Ah well.

How long?

And I hope I get freed soon too.

**Postscript:** I'll bring Makalaurë along too. (Currently, I am practicing my evil laugh in the mirror.)

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_My parents have a very healthy love life, thank you very much, although that is none of your concern. It just so happens that they saw what happened after your parents had their third son and decided to take the safe route and have a small family with only two sons and a daughter. _

_I knew that you had no intention of touching Irissë, my dear cousin. And even if you did, she has absolutely no interest in you. I just had to get back at you for that dreadful postscript you sent me in your first later. I mean, really, you were asking for it. My, you do have a hard time with beautiful ladies, do you not? If you need any help, just ask Maitimo; he has courted more maidens than I care to remember. And they are still flocking about him in throngs, so I have no idea what you could possibly mean._

_I am surprised indeed that you do not wear hairpins. I wear hairpins. Maitimo wears hairpins. Why, even you father wears hairpins! Irissë, on the other hand… But, oh well, what you do not have, you cannot use. I suppose there is no sense in lingering on it._

_No, we were not really plotting to rule the world, I just said that sate your strange imagination that always seems to be thinking up the worst things that we could possibly be doing. We were playing backgammon, for Manwë's sake. And I was winning! As for the look on your father's face, it was a rather strange look. He had his eyebrows furrowed together, and his eyes were narrowed a little, and his top lip was curling up ever so slightly to the right, and his bottom lip was pulled downward faintly into a frown. It was a very strange look indeed. Do you have any idea what that was supposed to mean? I would greatly like to know._

_Your loving cousin, _

_Findekáno_

_p.s. I cannot remember the last time Irissë talked about shampoo. Are you sure we are talking about the same girl?_

_p.p.s I did not burn any of your father's things. But, as I said before, you will not learn what I did. _

_p.p.p.s I am not scared in the least about the dear Ambarussa. I have cake, and we all know what their weakness is. _

_p.p.p.p.s. If you were talking about Maitimo's claim to never wed, I can assure you that that might not be true at all. I mean, he did say it when he was drunk, so no one really takes it seriously._

Dear Findekáno,

So, you're denying the existence of your little brother Argon? Hmm. And that stings, my dear cousin. Are you sure you're the 'loving cousin?' (I most definitely have not the intention of touching Irissë; she'd clobber me herself.)

On the point of what I don't have, would you mind sending me a hairpin? Oh, and with the topic of the look on my father's face...that's a new one. It kind of resembles the time when he gets suspicious and annoyed...and then tries to calm down. Perhaps, when I get out of the washroom, I'll try to provoke my father the same way, and we'll see what happens...and I'll feel what happens. Ah well. This is for the sake of discovery. But I bet it's something involving suspicion. He hates not knowing things.

You two ruling the world isn't a bad thing though - forget I just said that.

**Postscript:** I am pretty sure... It was when she was in one of those moods during which she spoke with some Vanyarin girls. I guess she picked it up from them. You know how vain the young ones are about their hair...  
><strong>Post-postscript<strong>: I'm still going to guess. Did you go into his forge and knock something over?  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> ...I've been living with them for as long as they've been born, Findekáno. I'm afraid that they can be very frightening when they want to be, so when the storm comes, you know I'll be twenty leagues away. But cake is a weakness... Damn. However, they have an even _greater_ weakness...but I'm sure you know what it is.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript: <strong>You never know what Russandol will say when he's drunk... He's not even the type of drunk to become clumsy and depressed. When he's drunk, he spouts all these odd secrets and truths that no one even knew... Moryo has documents of every single time he's been intoxicated. Of course, it just _had _to be the truthful-drunk... Not even silly, or horny, or anything, but _truthful_. It's like he suddenly becomes a little child, which I find adorable, until he starts telling everyone within a five mile radius our secrets from when Kano and I were little. And once, Atar was there. That was disastrous.  
><strong>Post-post-post-post-postscript:<strong> I still have no idea who sent the cookies that taste like fish... Do you mind helping me investigate the situation? I'm a little...stuck. In the washroom. So I can't really do anything from here.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_Ah, I suppose even Maitimo hasn't quite experienced the anguish being alone with the toilet bowl brings, if he locked himself in! It has got to be doubly worse knowing your imprisonment comes because of others, and their uncanny talent for losing important keys. If I may ask, though, what on earth was it that drove Maitimo to the point of preferring the toilet bowl's company to the rest of the family? It wouldn't have anything to do with this mysterious incident you've alluded to, would it? (Come on, you can tell me what it was! I swear I won't tell anybody!)_

_And also, the fish-cookies weren't from me, I promise! Whoever sent them was probably Telerin, what with their obsession with water..._

_-Crackers_

Dear Crackers,

No he hasn't! In fact, when I woke up this morning, the toilet bowl was _staring _at me. It used my reflection to cast a look of astonishment on me! Evil, goddamned toilet bowl! Thanks to Maitimo and the twins... But, apparently, Maitimo locked himself in because Ammë decided that it was time for him to get 'The Talk.' Because, oddly enough, Makalaurë and I had already received it, but Maitimo had refused to listen for the past ten times Ammë tried to explain the birds and the bees. But more and more girls were after Maitimo, so Ammë had enough. And Maitimo locked himself in the washroom.

But it had nothing to do with the mysterious incident...and if I tell you, Maitimo will drown me in the well next to our garden.

Good. If they were from you, then I'd be able to deduct that you are Telerin.

**Postscript:** They looked like normal cookies.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_Beautiful women? Just you wait till you meet Luthien Tinuviel in a few years! Good on Ambarussa for managing to lose the key... *chuckles*_

_Sincerely,_

_Ivory_

Dear Ivory,

Who is Luthien Tinuviel?

And that is _not_ good. Huan needs some manly companionship. And I need some manly companionship - not the toilet bowl.

**Postscript:** Nice name, by the way. There's another person I'm writing letters to - the name is Crackers. Have you met Crackers before?

* * *

><p>Now, Ammë knows that I am in the washroom.<p>

I had to lie, so she thinks that I am having constipation problems.

Facepalm.

Anyways, I've decided to describe the washroom, since I am immensely bored. Not that your letters aren't entertaining - they are - but I need more than letters. (I have this horrible pun coming on, so I'll resist saying it...)

The walls are striped vertically of white and robin's egg blue, with a border of golden vines twisted around a single pole running across each wall. The tiles are marble and a mixture of peach, dark blue, sapphire, emerald, cobalt, and just basically what a typical marble/granite floor would look like...but much, much more classier. Then there's the sink, white and porcelain, with a tap of silver and an engraving of emerald gem snakes entwined. Light filters in and reflects perfectly on the nice little scene, from the small window in the middle of the left wall (upon entering the washroom).

And then there's the toilet bowl.

It is the _ugliest_ thing ever, and if I see it again after I'm gone from this washroom, I will throw it out the small window that only the dove can fit through.

I hate the toilet bowl.

It can just die and rot and be eaten by decomposers.

It won't be missed.

Damn toilet bowl.

* * *

><p><strong>Tyelkormo hates the toilet bowl. It's that obvious.<strong>

**Anyway, I'm having fun writing these letters! What about you guys (& girls - probably mostly girls)?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Note to the audience reading this:  
><strong>

**I actually write in a journal to keep up with my thoughts, because I have short term memory sometimes. **

* * *

><p>Well, I'm out of the washroom now! Hurrah!<p>

And you know _how_ I got out?

The twins were feeling even more so remorseful today, so they went to Atar. Since it has been two days since I've been locked inside, Atar has been growing suspicious. So, when he asked of my whereabouts, Pitya and Telvo cracked and told him. Of course, I wasn't starving in there, since so many generous, benevolent, kind, charitable - **are you getting annoyed yet?** - wonderfully amazing people have sent me things to eat so I do not tear apart my own skin.

However, when Atar went to the washroom, I just automatically knew it was him, so I tried to hide behind the side of the sink's cabinets.

I think he was laughing.

When I got out, he had a completely straight face, and he simply patted my shoulder before going back to the forge. (I still am confused.)

So, I went to my room, and after a good five hours of sleep, I decided that I would get up and respond to the letters that Makalaurë's dove brought to me. This goes in order, by the way.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelco,<em>

_Are you sure Findaráto can't read minds, because the last time I saw him he said...well, never mind what he said, it's rather unimportant, but it sure seemed like he could read minds to me. I will excuse your badly phrased metaphor if we can just forget that that entire conversation ever happened. I lost control over myself for a moment there and I don't plan on doing it ever again. Besides, your not the minstrel in the family, are you? You're the hunter, and it's not your job to come up with clever wordplay._

_Just like a Fëanorian to call himself all-knowing! Really, tell me how you knew!_

_I don't think even your Atar would dare set...certain beings...on fire. There'd be an unholy uproar about it and the King would be after Fëanáro's head, whether or not he is his son. Besides how would he even go about doing this all covertly enough to succeed? _

_..._

_Writing all this couldn't be considered treasonous could it? If it could be, and somehow I end up in trouble for it would you mind explaining to your grandfather that I have nothing but respect for his wife and wish no harm to befall her?_

_If you tricked Maitimo by accident, I'm sorry to inform you my friend, it doesn't count. What...what exactly did you do by the way? Just out of curiosity._

_Unfortunately, you are still the only elf to be able to converse with animals. Huan seems to understand Quenya well enough though. He really is such an intelligent creature! As I said in my last letter, you are one lucky neri to have such a fine hound!_

_Oh, I'm not really sure how long it's been. At least a decade if not longer. Wait a moment Mr."I'm-just-all-knowing-like-that"! If your so all-knowing, why couldn't you tell me? Hmmm?_

_Well anyway, will you really bring Makalaurë? How much of this is getting back at him for tampering with the gifts of food everyone keeps sending you and how much of it is as a favor to me?_

_Ah well. I spent the day making caramels and am sending you some. I hope you like them. There is no way Makalaurë (much as I love him) can tamper with these! They are basically melted sugar, so he can't over-sweeten them and if he adds salt they shall only taste better! (seriously have you ever had salt-caramels? Eru bless the elf who invented them!)_

_I hope you get out of that gilded cage of a washroom your stuck in soon._

_With love,_

_Ataralassie_

Dear Ataralassie,

I am quite sure. Findaráto is just sneaky like that. But, yeah, I suppose we could forget that conversation. But the documents won't be terminated, and the written account will be stored forever and ever in the library, where my grandchildren after me will read my conversations with complete and utter strangers - not that I mind speaking with strangers. I get along with strangers quite well. Indeed, I am not the minstrel. When Makalaurë was seven, he was already singing about trees and birds. I am not Artemis (though we all know I am handsomer than she is), but I am the hunter. In our family.

I know, because I read books. (Don't act so surprised.)

And, on the subject of Atar...oh _yes he would_. He would laugh and set fire to whatever the blasted thing is. He doesn't even need to be furtive about it; no one ever comes near our household, since it is by a lake, and most Noldorin Elves prefer to crowd together. It's not treasonous; don't worry. If that does happen, Grandfather won't even be able to find you. Queen Indis - she didn't get too angry when I burned her handkerchief on accident, but Atar prefers his own mother's weaving.

Well, it happened like this. When Maitimo was younger than he is now, he was a bit gullible. So, when I joked about leaving the family and becoming a derelict and live the rest of my life out on Taniquetil - on the streets of the Vanyarin settlement - he didn't believe me at first. Then, I had gone out for quite a while - seven hours without returning to the palace - and Maitimo became worried. Makalaurë knew I wouldn't attempt such a stupid thing, but Maitimo wasn't sure. Later, when I came back, I learned that Maitimo had gone out searching for me, believing that I actually had gone to Taniquetil to become a homeless Elf. I had gone hunting with Oromë. Perhaps the situation would have been prevented if I told my family that I was going hunting before I went... Oh well.

I didn't want to seem like an arrogant bastard who knew everything, so I didn't... Hey wait a minute. I'm not a stalker; I don't know these types of things!

And yes, of course I will bring Makalaurë. He needs to get some fresh air; the celebration of the day Grandfather and Ingwë founded Tirion is a few weeks from now, and he is composing a song for the festival. Everyone's expecting something as good as last year, or better. I don't know why he tampers with my food - perhaps he wishes to poison me...nah. He wouldn't do that; he loves me. He loves me, right?

**Postscript:** Thanks for the caramels! They taste wonderful. I just gave Makalaurë one (after I got out of the washroom), and he thought they were good as well.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> It's both, a favor and revenge.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo, <em>

_I understand you speak bird language. Would you mind giving me a rough outline of its grammar? _

_Best wishes,  
>Lauriel<em>

_P.S. As one blonde to another, I would like to thank you for telling people off when they assume stupidity is connected to hair colour. The Vanyar may be idiots, but correlation doesn't equal causation, people!_

Dear Lauriel,

Well, their language is sharp. They prefer using fragments, such as 'eat, no speak!' which means..."Shut up and eat." But they say it as, "_Chiiiipi-chep-chiiiiip!_" The more scholarly birds will use complete sentences. There is no punctuation when it comes to the birds. They just go right to the point.

When Makalaurë's dove was laughing, I asked him, "_Cheppe?"_ It means: 'What?'

"_Chilipe-chep-cheee _(nothing, read letter)." So, basically, "It's nothing; just read your letters."

There isn't much I can explain, except when you try to translate, you might have to alter the sentence structure a bit.

But they generally use the 'chi' or 'chee' sound.

And when you hear, '_Chigi!' _It means, "Holy *(^#!"

**Postscript:** '_Chiiriigi!'_ Now that means, "&*($ you!"

**Post-postscript:** That's what the dove said to me when he zoomed into my face, trying to get into the washroom through the window.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_I would never even dream of denying Argon's existence! How dare you accuse me of something so heinous! I love that boy! But really, he was not something my parents were planning on. Like I said, they decided to take the safe route of having a small family, but when two people are so much in love as my parents (and so terribly affectionate) things happen that no one was expecting. And my little baby brother Argon was one of those things. Fortunately, Eru decided that their fears would not be confirmed, and he gave them a sweetheart of a son, and not a terror. _

_I am so glad that you think that Maitimo and I would be good at ruling the world together, although we have no intentions of doing so. And I promise, I will tell no one that you said so. Except Maitimo, who is in my room complaining to me about everything that has been happening. (And not finding a way to get you out of the washroom, which really is quite terrible of him.) He says that he never dreamed of ruling the world, and that it is hard enough caring for his brothers. He has no idea what he would do if he had to get multiple people out of washrooms. He is pacing the floor worriedly. He looks so cute when he is worried. I just read him this letter up to that point. Now he is glaring at me and trying not to blush. He looks cute when he does that too._

_I would not recommend provoking your father that way; you are liable to be thrown out the window. I suppose that Irissë could get vain about her hair after speaking with the Vanyar, but she usually talks about how her hunting trips went to me. Actually, I do not know Ambarussa's greater weakness. Would you mind telling me? If you do, I will tell you what I did to get banished. (Which was not knocking something over in the forge.) _

_My father just came in. I suppose that you would rather not have me tell him what happened, so I will not. But I am not sure about Maitimo. Blast! My father wants to know what I am writing. I just told him. He is now rather alarmed. I think he worries about you, my dear cousin. _

_Your loving cousin,_

_Findekáno _

_p.s. I am sending you a hairpin as you requested. It is not very pretty, but it is strong. _

_p.p.s. I am indeed your loving cousin, Tyelkormo. You might be annoying and obnoxious, but I truly do care for you. (I shall stop this postscript before it gets too sappy.) _

_p.p.p.s. I think that it was Uinen who sent the fish cookies. _

_p.p.p.p.s. I love it when Maitimo gets drunk! He tells me all I could ever want to know about your family!_

_p.p.p.p.p.s. Does he ever say anything unusual or embarrassing about me?_

Dear Findekáno,

Argon is a good little kid. And my parents are affectionate too! Just in the really, really passionate way that sometimes Ammë storms out of the house and bulldozes over one of her sculptures on the way out... Are you implying that I am a terror?

Maitimo tends to be the kind of person to use indifference to express affection. But with people he's really, very comfortable with - as in you, or me, or Kano, or any of my brothers - the affection comes with gruffness. He's not good with showing emotions towards us, so he's like an awkward teddy bear sitting on the edge of the bed. And I can't believe he isn't thinking about a way to get me out of the washroom - but I'm already out of it. What a relief. I was getting tired of staring at the toillet bowl and trying to make it dissipate. I hate that thing. Oh, and, Maitimo tends to look cute when he's embarrassed (but when he's worried? You have an odd taste of finding things adorable, cousin). It's something that Makalaurë has teased him on several times for.

My father is already used to me provoking him - hence me laughing at him and getting locked into the washroom; him not throwing me out of the window, laughing when I came out of the washroom.

The twins' greatest weakness is..._chocolate._

Tell Uncle I said hi. And he worries about me?

...I'm flattered?

**Postscript: **Thank you for the hairpin. It happens that I've just gotten out, so it's been returned to you, Unless you preferred it stay away from you, but I didn't know beforehand, so oh well.  
><strong>Post-postscript: <strong>Well, we both are awkward in the affectionate section.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> She is a culprit, then. I'm suspecting Makalaurë as well, because he knows I don't like any sweet thing that tastes like fish. And Angaráto, because he's just himself.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript:<strong> Really? You actually enjoy hearing your secrets spilled? One time, on a celebratory day, we went to a tavern, Nelyo, Kano, and I. And Russandol - he got drunk. Very badly drunk - so intoxicated that he had to sweep the floor with his feet in order to walk the distance to his destination. And then, he went to the nearest Elf and started talking about his friendship with you, and exactly how close you two were. Of course, Kano wrote it down, and Maitimo doesn't know that yet. So don't let him read this letter.  
><strong>Post-post-post-post-postscript:<strong> I don't think people know the difference between Kano and you. Your nicknames aren't the same. Kano v. Káno. Does that look the same to you?

* * *

><p><em>Dear Turco,<em>

_No, although I did dance with several handsome young men, no of them could compare to Ma... actually, that is none of your business. Did you know that apart from Atar, Amme and Maitimo, you are the only family member to have asked me that? My friends are fine, and while I was in Aqualonde I caught up with Moriel - my childhood friend. She is married now, but we remembered the times when she would visit and we would play games in which you were the groom, she the bride, Kano the officiator and myself as the maid of honour - do you remember those games?_

_Are you suggesting that Findekano commisioned the painting. It wasn't. It was this Vanya girl called Sáraiwë._

_You may be the master of charades, but I am Queen!_

_Love, Simpa_

_P.S What about my friends? If you say anything bad about them I will pulverise you._

_P.P.S Kano can't have done anything to the profiteroles - I know for a fact that when I sent them he was in the spare room with his lady-friend. If they are different, just send them back and I will force-feed them to Makalaure._

_P.P.P.S Lindaliel is visiting later in the holidays._

_P.P.P.P.S Grandfather has asked me and Lindaliel to sing at the Yuletide ball - I'm panicking - what should we sing? (and I hate singing solo in public performances)_

Dear Simpa,

I care. Simple as that. And don't remind me of Moriel... After I refused to play that stupid marriage game again, she kicked me in the shin and nearly broke the bone.

No...I don't recall why I had mentioned - almost mentioned - Findekáno in the letter.

If you are Queen, then I am the One. And you know that me being the One is ridiculous.

**Postscript:** Lindaliel - that's her name. They tried to get her to speak with Findekáno.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> Kano has his ways, Simpa.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> I know that you're probably going to invite Findekáno over.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript:<strong> Yuletide ball, eh? Sing Iáidenhelë. It's a nice song.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_I do not see what you find so funny about my uncle giving me lessons in athletics. He is very strong and fast. Have you ever tried wrestling with him? Under those ceremonial robes is a body as powerful as a tiger's. His grip is like steel. I would not laugh or cackle if I were you. He has this way of finding out of things, and even if you are strong, I would not boast for you did not see him fight a wild boar bare-handed as I have, nor seen the weight of rocks that he can lift for as it says in the annals, he is the strongest of Finwe's sons, stronger even than your Atar, believe it or not._

_I tried asking your Atar to mend the horn, but he looked exasperated and said he would only do it if I gave him a lock of my hair, which I can't do because your Amil said that if I did she would turn into one of her statues and no one would ever know the difference. I do not know whether to believe her or not, but I am not taking that chance. So I asked Aulë. Fortunately, he was able to repair it. Yavanna also was able to calm Oreme down, so he isn't planning to kill me anymore, though he thinks that I should be locked up. Yavanna has left it up to my parents to decide on my punishment. They are talking about it right now. If it will make you feel any better, I will tell you what it is when I find out, though it will probably be something dull like having to scrub the kitchen for the next three months. _

_Irissë can be quite frightening sometimes, especially when she is holding her bow._

_Your anxious cousin,_

_Nerwen_

_p.s. um, well, you see, I was trying to get back at Carnistir for putting spiders and worms in my bed, so I was going to put a snake in the bath tub and hope he was the first person to go in. Yes, I know, I could have gotten someone else, but I do not think anyone else in your family is afraid of snakes besides Carnistir, and I don't dare go in his room, because, well, just because…_

_p. p. s. I am sending you some roasted mackerel and fried haddock, sorry, if you don't like sea food, it's about the only thing my father ever cooks. Findaráto says he will come to your window and play his harp if you would like. My father suggests you take a long, bubble bath._

_p. p. p. s. I am sorry if you are having problems with the opposite sex. I have so many suitors that I don't know what to do with them all. Tell your father that I do not need him to ask for a lock of hair. If I gave away my hair to everyman who asked it, I would be bald. _

_p. p. p. p. s. Unless in use large, brick ovens make wonderful hiding places._

Dear Nerwen,

Just imagine. I'll have to run from _him_ if I ever mess up with Irissë. So I'm a bit delirious. And I don't doubt that he's stronger than Atar; Atar was always more specialised in the skills of the mind. He fought a wild boar? Bare-handed? (I hope I don't get on his bad side then...)

Nerwen, I think the best thing to do would be just to give Atar the lock. After all, it's only a bit of hair, and it will grow back with time. But I'm mainly advising you to do so because he will make a _big_ deal out of it. If you don't comply, he'll probably come up with this odd craft that collects the light from the Trees and outshines your hair. And then something bad will happen. I just know it will; nothing good ever comes out of having riches beyond imagination. Although, Ammë may not be happy if that happens, so I don't know what to say... A father's son and mother's boy... Ai, this is conflicting.

Oromë thinks everyone should be locked up; ever since Melkor, you know. And knowing your parents, the punishment won't be too severe. My punishment for laughing at Atar was scrubbing the floor of the washroom, but it wasn't severe because he was distracted at the time. And karma is on his side.

**Postscript: **Yes...especially when she's in a horrible mood, has her knife with her, and the bow as backup. I have been in that situation before. I suggest you should not somehow manage to place yourself in that position of the prey.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> You got Makalaurë, actually. He isn't afraid of snakes. He charmed (sung like a snake charmer) that one to go outside, and when he picked it up, he was about to throw it out the window. And then he couldn't help himself - apparently he thought the snake was so innocent and adorable and he couldn't bear to kill it by throwing it out of the window. So he kept it as a pet until it bit him five days later. Then Atar killed the snake and burned the carcass.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> Thanks for the mackerel and haddock. Though I don't really eat seafood, Huan enjoys it. So I've stored them in the pantry with tons of salt. Findaráto is very calming with his songs; too bad I got out of the washroom today. Do you think he'd still play the harp for me if I wasn't locked in the blasted toilet room?  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript:<strong> I'm not... Just a bit tired of that 'romance' thing. If you did give hair to every man who asked you - well...I bet your bald head would shine like the stars... Ha...ha... No. You must not give away all of your hair, Nerwen, for I will never be able to take you seriously afterwards. But if you've suddenly decided to go with some sort of new fashion, would you mind giving Atar just one strand?  
><strong>Post-post-post-post-postscript:<strong> You are as tall as I am, Nerwen. I can't fit into a large brick oven. Is it because you are very flexible?


	6. Chapter 6

_Dear Tyelkormo, _

_I am so glad to hear that you got out of the washroom. Thank-you for sending my hairpin back, although I never particularly cared for it, so it would have been all right if you had kept it. _

_I never noticed that Maitimo was not good at showing affection. He always seems to be very affectionate to me. When I was a little boy, he used to pick me up and twirl me around in the air and kiss me. Ah well, we often see our relatives in a much different light it seems. _

_Your revelation about what Maitimo spilled about me when he was drunk is actually quite a relief. Although I do not know why Maitimo should not know about it. What could he possibly have said? Now, I have a dread feeling about this and am beginning to feel that I, perhaps, should not find it such a relief. _

_About our nicknames, they are quite similar, but not exactly the same. Nelyo likes them, because he does not have to differentiate too much when he has us both with him. It is quite annoying when he braids our hair together and calls us his "two Kano's". _

_Well, annoy your father if you feel like it. I would still like to know what he was thinking, so if you happen to find out, tell me._

_Your loving cousin, _

_Findekáno _

_p.s. I was banished from your house for flirting shamelessly with your mother._

Dear Findekáno,

You're welcome. Of course, I didn't send the hairpin back because I knew you didn't want it back... Not at all.

With you, Maitimo's always been open. But what about the fact that he refuses to teach you the art of wooing women? He told me, when he was drunk and we were in the house alone (surprisingly, I wasn't drunk, but he was), that he didn't have the heart to teach you, because you would eventually rescind from his presence and spend all of your time with women. His worries are so silly; we all know - even Grandfather knows - that you would rather spend all of your time with Russandol. It's just too bad that he has all these insecurities.

Trust me, cousin; you don't really want to know. From personal experience, I know that it is very hard to get your hair untangled from someone else's. Irissë tied my hair together with Turno's, and it refused to budge, for I had just gone out hunting, and my hair was wild and tangled. I think Turno is still sour about that time, because he refuses to ever let Irissë or me braid his hair.

Oh, and I annoyed Atar today. I think his face was similar to what you described.

So, he was suspicious, worried, and apprehensive. I bet it was because he was getting a bit shirty about Russandol spending so much time with you. It's really funny. He's probably worried about losing the heir of his first-born son. So you might want to clear up that fact, my loving cousin, because eventually, hell will freeze over, and Atar will try to strangle you for trying to corrupt Maitimo.

**Postscript:** HAHAHAHA - kindly ignore the ink splatters on your letter. I'm sorry, but you were flirting shamelessly with Ammë? I'm not surprised. She goes under the 'beautiful women' category. But if you want to wear out your banishment from this place, you might want to send Atar a letter explaining how you couldn't resist the temptation of provoking him. And then you wouldn't have to go with Maitimo to the rose-bush gardens and do Valar-knows-what.

* * *

><p><em>Ah, Tyelkormo,<em>

_I am so glad that you managed to get out of the washroom._

_Uncle Nolo is very protective of his only daughter. So, yes, you should beware._

_I am NOT going to give your father a lock of my hair no matter how much he begs. He came over to my house this evening and was very rude to my father and uncle. I cannot see why I should give someone I do not like a lock of my hair, besides how big a deal can giving or not giving someone hair be? I am not even entirely certain if it appropriate for him to ask for such a thing, and your mother definitely doesn't like the idea, so I'll leave it at that._

_My parents are going to send me away to Lórien to learn patient and wisdom and virtue from Olorin as my "punishment", so I won't be able to attend any of the planned balls and festivities, which in my opinion is just fine. I like Olorin a lot, and it's really fun to flirt with him and test his temper._

_Yours affectionately,_

_Nerwen_

_p.s. I hardly ever get along well with Irissë, so I have found myself in that situation more than once. _

_p. p. s. I am sorry that Makalaurë got bitten, and not Carnistir. I wish your younger brother would stop giving me "presents"_

_p. p. p. s. Oh, I love Huan. He is sooo cute. Don't tell him I said that._

_p. p. p. p. s. Findaráto would love to come and play his harp. He loves an audience. Maybe he and Makalaurë can collaborate sometime. That would be cool._

_p. p. p. p. p. s. What's your favorite color? Part of my patience session is that I have to weave each of my relations a shirt._

Dear Nerwen,

Thank you; I'm glad as well.

I think I shall sleep with one eye open now, if so.

Atar will probably do something very productive with it, since it captures the light of the Two Trees. Even I will admit that your hair is beautiful, and I've always found Telerin maidens' hair to be the best of the Eldar. When Atar is determined, he will do anything. And when he gives up, prepare for karma. He was just being his normal self when he went over to your house; Ammë fell for him, partly because of his arrogance and rude demeanor. So...oh well.

I bet that Olórin has to build up his tolerance each time. I hear that he's growing out that beard of his. Just imagine, nine thousand years later, he'll look like an old man because he decided to take the form of one. Are you sure you still want to flirt with him to test his temper? You're probably adding wrinkles to his forehead, what with him always frowning.

_Because you added a tag, I will too.  
>Your laughing cousin who wishes you luck at your learning session with the Istar but also affectionate,<em>

_Tyelkormo_

**Postscript:** Indeed. I still remember that time that you fought with her in the banquet hall in the palace, and the table was set on fire as you both clashed with metal swords and spears.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> Moryo has a sick sense of humor.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> He licked the part of the letter where you said that, my dear cousin. I'm afraid he already knows. And he's mocking me, right now, but I love him as well.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript: <strong>Sure. I shall tell Makalaurë and see when they can start composing together. Maybe we'll get front row seats. How is Findaráto doing, by the way?  
><strong>Post-post-post-post-postscript: <strong>My favorite color...? Hmm... Oh, I just thought up a cheesy pick-up line. _"The color of your beautiful eyes."_ Let's just go with that.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Turco.<em>

_I am glad I have such a caring brother. Moryo, Curvo, Pityo and Telvo barely noticed me when I came back. Moriel conveniently forgot about that._

_You think way to highly about yourself. The One indeed!_

_Love Simpa_

_P.S I'm not sure about that. When I passed the spare room I heard NOISES!_

_P.P.S Of course I am going to invite Findekáno over._

_P.P.P.S Why don't you talk to me? Or am I not beautiful enough for you?_

_P.P.P.P.S Has Maitimo said anything about me while drunk? If so, please tel me!_

_P.P.P.P.P.S Lindaliel says that you have a big head._

Dear Simpa,

Well, Curvo had an excuse; he was working himself off in the forge, and Atar was watching over him. Thank the Valar Moriel forgot. She forgot about me too, right? I'm not too sure about Moryo, Pitya, and Telvo, though.

I did say that it was impossible for me to be the One, so should you not be saying that you think too highly of yourself, my queen? Hmm?

_Tyelkormo_

**Postscript:** That was probably Maitimo speaking with Findekáno about the picnic that they were planning to go on together.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> That's wonderful, Simpa. But he's banned from the house. Atar banned him.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> Simpa, you know I don't cross those boundaries. I don't really have any sort of secret, romantic feelings towards you, and I'm sure you don't feel that way towards me either.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript:<strong> He hasn't been drunk for a while now. That was a year ago.  
><strong>Post-post-post-post-postscript:<strong> So you allow your friends to insult me, but I still get pulverised if I say something against them? That's prejudiced, Simpa.


	7. Chapter 7

_Dear Tyelkormo,_

_Nolo doesn't mind if you hang out with Irisse, as long as you don't do anything...well, inappropriate, what I mean is anything you wouldn't do to your brother._

_I am not going to talk about your father._

_Flirting with Olorin is one of the most enjoyable things I do here. He always has such clever come backs and funniest expression! I simply adore him. Like today I told him that his eyes were as bright as his fire works, so he looked at me hard a long time, and he sighed and told me that my hair, which I had up that day looked like a feather duster. He said so solemnly that I thought he meant(and even now I am not certain) but then he started laughing. We both laughed until we cried._

_The rest of things are quite dull. Patience is a hard discipline. Olorin's house is quite nice though, cave like in a way and yet he has these lovely wind chimes that sing in the breeze and put me to sleep every night._

_I miss my brothers._

_sincerely, a girl who probably will never stop getting in trouble,_

_Nerwen_

_p.s. Nienna really never stops crying, never!_

_p.p.s. Sometimes I wish she would. It's driving me crazy!_

_p.p.p.s. The above mentioned statement was very selfish and shows exactly why I need to learn patience_

_p.p.p.p.s. Olorin made me write the last statement, so it shouldn't count_

_p.p.p.p.p.s. Tell Huan, I love him and that his coat is the finest in the land_

_p.p.p.p.p.p.s I think the reason Irisse and I don't get along is because we are expected too. She is really strong willed like that._

_p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s I don't know how Finderato is. I haven't gotten a letter from him yet_

Dear Nerwen,

I would never. I'd have to face my father's wrath first, and then my mother's, and then my brother's contempt, and _then_ Uncle Nolo's. I prefer not to get myself into such a situation that compromises my life expectancy.

Alright; we do not have to breach the subject.

Olorin will have to crack one day. I know it. I don't think anyone could ever take it in stride if you did that to them... I suppose that means that don't have much patience. Since they are rather dull, I have sent you a package - but that is to be revealed later on...in the postscript. Wait. Are you saying that you sleep on a cave floor? That must feel horrible! I've actually tried doing that before—and my back was sore for weeks. It hurt to move, it hurt to stand, it hurt to sit, it hurt to sleep (because I restlessly roll over when I sleep). It shaved off ten years of my life span.

Tell Olorin that he needs to get a proper _bed_. That would make the wind chimes more enjoyable.

I spoke to Findaráto this morning, when I was out jogging. He says that they all miss you as well. In fact...Findaráto has enclosed his own letter to you, in _my_ postscripts. He and Kano are planning to get together to collaborate on a celebration tune for your father's begetting day, which I assume you have not forgotten?

Your cousin who will never learn patience - not even in a thousand years,  
><em>Celegorm<em>

**Postscript: **It was enough to water the Two Trees...  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> Patience, my dear Nerwen... Patience...  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> Hello, Olorin. I should have known it was you—Nerwen would have never spoken with such wisdom and...patience.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postcript:<strong> Trust me; Huan knows. He was howling under your window yesterday, and wouldn't come back until I lured him with fish.  
><strong>Post-post-post-post-postscript:<strong> Yes, she's always been rather independent... When she's hunting, it's even worse. She would not even allow me to help her off her horse when she had a blasted cast on her leg! Prideful. Very prideful. And then she broke my bow by snapping it over the same leg.  
><strong>Post-post-post-post-post-postscript:<strong>  
><em>Dear Nerwen,<em>

How are you doing? It's quite lonely here without you yelling at Aikanáro! Father says that you can come back in two weeks - just in time to attend a banquet welcoming our kin from the shore! Are you having fun with Olorin?

_Findaráto_

**Postscript inside postscript:** We miss you very much!

* * *

><p><em>Tyelkormo,<em>

_I do not care that you are my cousin; I am going to kill you. Well, more precisely, 'Timo is going to kill you as soon as he gets back to your house. At least that is the impression I got after I showed him your letter. He read it once and his face grew pale, when he read it over, his face grew red, and then he crumpled it up, muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'I am going to kill him.', and marched away, presumably towards your house. Of course, you might already be dead by the time this letter reaches you. That idea actually does not trouble me._

_How dare you imply that Russandol and I are not decent with each other! It is a preposterous idea. I have never done a single thing with Maitimo that I would be ashamed to do in front of my father or yours. No, scratch that. (Oh, why does ink not erase?) I have done a few things, but they usually involved large amounts of sweets and wine, and I believe that my father would have thought we were being foolish. _

_If your father believes that I am corrupting Maitimo, he is being ridiculous. If one of us were corrupting the other, it would be Maitimo corrupting me, and I am quite certain he is not. At least, I never feel corrupted after seeing him. If he does not teach me how to woo women, that is because he wants to keep me his "little Káno" just a little longer. I will have to talk to your father at once if he suspects that I might keep Russandol from ever wedding. We have great plans to someday find and marry sisters, thank-you very much. _

_Your not so loving cousin, _

_Findekáno_

_p.s. My term of banishment is almost over, so I do not really have to worry about writing your father a letter. _

_p.p.s. I enjoy going to the rose gardens with Maitimo, so do not think that I will stop just because I can go to your house. It is not even the most beautiful house anyway. _

_p.p.p.s. I am never lending you a hairpin again!_

Dear Findekáno,

I am currently hiding.

I know he might have reacted like that - and he did. I'm not too scared though. I actually think this is tremendously funny. Would you, perhaps, like for me to tell you what he said? I can go get the files right now after I send a message to Kano. I'm not implying. That was Atar, who was extremely worried. (He can get paranoid sometimes.) Don't shoot the messenger.

If ink erased, then all of Námo's files on my...well...let's just leave it at files...would be thankfully gone, and I wouldn't have to have extra decades added onto my sentence in Mandos.

Of course you two are decent - I never did say that there was something more. It was just so embarrassingly heartfelt and deep that I couldn't help but get Kano to write it down. It was actually quite hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing, despite the fact that I was a little bit intoxicated at all. Perhaps it is you who has something to hide? I only did say that he explained that he was quite close to you and you did things that nobody knows of at the rose-bush gardens. The rest was just Atar's perception of your relationship.

Good luck with that, Káno, on marrying sisters, because I doubt anyone would want to deal with us, the eccentric House of Finwë.

Your cousin who is quite amused,

_Celegorm_

**Postscript:** I would still write a letter. Having Atar on your back is not something very exciting. In fact - literally carrying him is worse.  
><strong>Post-postscript: <strong>Father doesn't really care for grandeur, you see. He prides in being more skilled in prowess of mind than physical appearance. It gives the house a homely feel.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> If they all look like that hairpin you sent me, then I concur.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_I'm very sorry I haven't gotten around to writing sooner! I'm thrilled to hear that you've escaped from the washroom (and the evil glare of the toilet bowl!). _

_In your last letter to me you mentioned the unfortunate though most hilarious circumstances under which Maitimo locked himself in the washroom. Poor dear, staying naïve just isn't an option for someone as attractive as him, though... Please tell me it didn't happen last week! _

_And, no, I am not, in fact, Telerin. _

_-Crackers_

Dear Crackers,

It's fine.

I'm glad that I've escaped from that place as well, though I would much rather kill the toilet and throw it outside... Atar is still pending on his verdict about that.

Oh, don't worry, it didn't.

It happened three years ago, actually. It was quite funny, but that is only because he is too innocent.

You are not Telerin?

Celegorm  
><strong>Postscript:<strong> Pardon my blunt statement, but... What are you?

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry, sorry, sorry this came so late!<strong>

I was suffering an illness by the name of..._writer's block._

_Writingul preventiblum._

Yes, that was totally made up.

**I need more inspiration...**

**Somebody send me a picture of Maitimo streaking through Tirion and I'll have it back.**


	8. Chapter 8

_Dear Tyelkormo,_

_I am terribly sorry for over-reacting, but your letter was quite disturbing to me. I do not know where your father gets his ideas, but, if you do not share them, I suppose I cannot be angered with you for them. So, please, forgive me. I cannot guarantee what 'Timo will do to you, however. He seemed quite upset. Perhaps he does not like what he says when he is drunk to be written down to be remembered? I would love to hear what he said, however; perhaps it will shed some light on your father's suspicions. _

_I have already written a letter about both your mother and your brother to your father trying to settle him, since I would not want any grief to lie between our houses. He came over to my house instead of answering it with a letter and was chuckling quite frightfully. He gave me an hour-long lecture on decency, morality, flirting, romance, marriage, and smith-work, patted me on the shoulder, told me I was a good chap, and wished 'Timo and me the best of luck in finding sisters. I am quite certain that I have calmed him down, at least for now. _

_Your again loving cousin, _

_Findekáno_

_p.s. I have nothing to hide. And to prove it, I shall let you ask me anything you wish._

_p.p.s. The only thing you cannot ask me is what we do at the rose gardens, since no one will know that until the end of the world._

_p.p.p.s. It is not our fault that your father and you (and some others of your House) gave the House of Finwë such a strange reputation. We are struggling hard to overcome it with our sweetness and charm. Unfortunately, it is not working too well._

Dear Findekáno,

It's alright. I am currently sporting a bruise on my jaw, and it's bypassed red and gone straight to purple. I suppose it's my fault as well, for not sending a separate letter that was private. I forgive you though, so one thing good has come out of the confrontation... My hiding place didn't really work. Do you think I should have dressed up as Queen Indis instead of hiding in a laundromat? I bet you Maitimo wouldn't dare attack her. I shall send the documents over as soon as I am able to move my jaw and _speak_. I'll have to ask Kano to do it instead by writing him a note.

Father is actually almost always suspicious. Quite paranoid, actually, but that's all of us on bad days.

I have no idea what was running through his head when he gave you the lecture...but who knows anyway? Nowadays, Atar is very unpredictable. (It's a good thing he's calmed down, though.) Did he have this odd gleam/glint in his eyes?

Your cousin, unable to move his jaw without feeling a splitting pain,

_Tyelkormo_

**Postscript:** Very well. What did you and Maitimo do after the banquet was over that day? You know - the celebration of Atar and Amil's marriage? I'm curious. I saw you two leaving the building, but I was a bit...drunk at the time...  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> Hmmph. We all have until the end of the world - I'll wait.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript: <strong>Atar tends to leave a lasting impression. Sorry to say this - but it has a ninety-nine-point-nine percent chance of failing.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Turco<em>

_Moriel did not forget about you. She asked about my 'dear baby brother'. Atar has just told me that he is inviting Veryatinco (remember- the creep who used to stalk me and give me flowers) around for dinner. I think Atar is trying to marry me off. After all, Veryatinco is the son of a smith, and is training as a smith. Please help me. I just don't have time for 'dancing' as Isilfinde once put it. That's just going to wait a while. I haven't got time for messing around, and it's not my style. This town can slow you down, people taking the easy way, but I know exactly where I'm going, and I'm getting closer and closer every day and I'm almost there. People round here think I'm crazy, but I don't care._

_Your panicking sister,_

_Earilinde_

_P.S. Not talking noises... Other kinds of sounds._

_P.P.S. In a previous letter, please ignore the fact I said that it was none of your business._

_P.P.P.S. I shall sweet-talk Atar into revoking Findekano's ban._

_P.P.P.P.S. No, I have no romantic feelings towards you. However, I am sure I can provide far more interesting conversation than many other maidens._

_P.P.P.P.P.S. Did Nelyo say anything at all about me while I was away?_

_P.P.P.P.P.P.S. If telerin maidens have the best hair of all the eldar, how come you have never complimented me on my hair? After all, I am half teleri._

Dear Simpa,

I wish she would forget. And how could I forget him? I remember throwing him into a rose bush - and he went home with his tail between his legs! Ha! I laughed so hard, and I didn't even get punished. But...wait...Father is inviting that scoundrel for dinner? Shoot. Tell him that...you'll jump from a cliff if you're getting married off. As for the 'town can slow you down,' is that supposed to be some sort of quote? I thought we were just talking about Veryatinco.

Currently grinning,

_Tyelkormo_

**Postscript:** Probably Curvo and his girlfriend. I dunno.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> Er...I don't remember you telling me anything of such. I burn my letters after I'm finished replying to them - remember?  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> His ban is almost over anyway. He sent a letter today explaining the misunderstandings.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript:<strong> That would be awkward if you did.  
><strong>Post-post-post-post-postscript:<strong> No - he was too busy bruising me. Other than that - spending time with Findekáno.  
><strong>Post-post-post-post-post-postscript:<strong> Well, you're... That's like telling _Turno_ that his hair is the loveliest texture of silk. Awkward.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_You may be surprised to hear this but at the moment I love your father! Yes, I should have warned you to sit down before reading this. If you broke anything, I promise I'll pay. Anyway, the reason is this: Fëanor, your father, somehow learned that I had been flirting with Olorin—and that he was sort of flirting back with me—well, anyway being as suspicious of everything as he is, he has decided that all the Maier are trying to steal our maidens, or at least that he told my Atar, so that is why I am safely back home away from the clutches of Olorin, personally I think the whole thing is ridiculous, but, oh, well, at least I am not stuck learning patience._

_I was even reconsidering giving your father the hair that he wanted, but then, of course, your mother happened to come over for dinner. She didn't say anything but she stared at me through the whole meal with this strange gleam in her eye, and when she got up to leave she whispered to my mother that she had better "keep a close eye on your daughter, or she may come to a bad end."_

_You know even though everyone thinks that it is your father who is so frightening, but it is your mother who really scares me. She doesn't blow up the way Fëanor, but when she doesn't get her way she gives people evil omens. I mean when she didn't get to name the twins one name, didn't she say one would be called "the fated one"? I would never want to cross her._

_I have not forgotten his birthday; luckily I did finish his shirt. I finished yours too. It's as you wanted the color of my eyes: blue-grey. I hope you like it. Nienna said that the seams looked good._

_Your, at the present unlearning patience and fighting full way with Aikanáro, Cousin,_

_Nerwen_

_p.s. I know! But apparently she thinks her tears do the world some good. She just doesn't know how sorry I feel for her. She even cries in her sleep._

_p. p. s. You're beginning to sound like Olorin_

_p. p. p. s. Olorin was so impressed by how mature you sounded in responding to that part of the letter (he didn't read the rest) that he is thinking of taking you on as his apprentice. He is going to talk to your father about it tonight. Good Luck!_

_p. p. p. p. s. Huan is great, but perhaps he should be allowed around other dogs more often. He is beginning to sound a little too much like one of my suitors, well, except they usually sing not howl._

_p. p. p. p. p. s She can be very forgiving though. She tends to be the first one of us to apologize after a fight. I guess that means I am even more prideful (sighs and goes back to lists of faults I have to compile for homework for Olorin)._

_p. p. p. p. p. p. s Olorin does have a bed. Two beds actually, one for him and one for his apprentice, which if all things work out, you'll be for the next say…12 years. They are quite narrow and are against the back wall. They are not as soft as some, but they're bearable._

Dear Nerwen,

I already told Findekáno that my jaw is so bruised that it hurts to move it - and you just had to put that introductory statement in there and cause me to trip as I was taking my daily stroll! I'll have you know that I fell and jarred my jaw _again_. Why...Nerwen...why? Ignore the splatters of blood on the letter. I had to clean up the stains because I _spat_ out blood when I hit the ground, on my way back from the post office. Personally, I'm very happy for you Nerwen - you've gotten out of learning patience, but I'm still hurting.

Mother is quite scary when that happens. I admit it. I've seen her do it to Queen Indis as well, but that was in defense of Atar. But I think Ammë is some sort of psychic of fortune teller. This morning, she told me to watch out for any cracks in the road. Turns out she was right.

Thank you for the shirt,

_Tyelkormo_

**Postscript:** I think Melkor's ego is boosted by that.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> Nerwen...kill me.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> Scratch that. I'll go kill myself. You know what? He should've have read the rest of the letter himself, because that exhibits patience. He fails. I am going to tell Atar that he is not fit to teach me patience, and I am not fit to learn it. If I were in a room with patience, I would have kicked down the door to get out.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript: <strong>Nah, Huan is much more comely than your suitors. It's really funny, actually. I remember when I combed Huan's mane back, and he almost looked like that one Elf who snuck into your room and placed a golden brush on the mantelpiece. And then you didn't even notice it until he asked you about it the next day.  
><strong>Post-post-post-post-postscript:<strong> Long-distance homework? Aye, my life is over!  
><strong>Post-post-post-post-post-postscript:<strong> No way. I'm not going. You'll have to drag me by my cold, limp arm. Over my dead body. There is no way. The Istar is trying to kill me! That is the only reasonable answer as to why he would take me as an apprentice. But he'll see. I'm going to kill myself first.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_I should hope your Atar would indeed have the sense to want to keep the toilet INSIDE the house! Though I suppose you might be glad to avoid returning to the washroom for any reason; I hate to imagine the flashback you'd suffer!_

_That's a bit of a relief, I suppose, but he was no youngster even three years ago..._

_As for what I am: Noldorin, of course! Despite the fact that I am not quite as levelheaded or, ah, intelligent as some Noldor, I am one, nevertheless. (And quite proud of it, too!)_

_-Crackers_

Dear Crackers,

He's Father. I'm not sure whether or not he'd agree. He's quite spontaneous when it comes to making decisions about life-changing things. And the toilet out of the washroom is life-changing. For Mother, anyway. I, for one, think that it will make my life easier, since I won't have to experience immense pain when I grind my jaw because I've seen the blasted thing. I assume you have not been informed - Maitimo tried to murder me because of a certain misunderstanding. So, my jaw is currently suffering a bruise, and I cannot even eat without wincing.

Ah... Well, Maitimo was always the one who was so innocent and pure. In the end, Kano was the one making movements and gestures while I explained.

Was the 'levelheaded' part supposed to be sarcastic?

A very questioning Elf,

_Tyelkormo_

* * *

><p>I am considering going to rehabilitation for the use of my jaw. I cannot even smile without feeling a splitting pain, and if I want to frown, I just usually punch the person who annoyed me instead. Did you know that it takes somewhere around forty-three muscles to frown, but it only takes four to simply punch them instead? Preferably the face.<p>

But I was very civil and did not attack Maitimo after he so gentlemanly attacked me and caused me to see white light for six seconds.

Oh, did I mention I received a concussion? I'd rather be comatose than have a useless jaw.

Which reminds me...

Kano needs inspiration for his new musical. Ideas, anyone. You'll receive a personal letter of thanks from him.

And the reason why he's sending a letter of thanks is because he knows he's a...what do you call them these days? Studs? Yes. He is a stud, among the ladies. Apparently it's because he is sensitive.

Well, I am off to take my herbal remedy!

Make sure to help out Kano, alright? He's a very sweet guy, and he'll be heartbroken otherwise.

* * *

><p><strong>This was a bit late.<br>****Or this was really, really late.  
><strong>I'm sorry.

But the good news is that it's out, right? Make sure to help out Maglor!


	9. Chapter 9

Terribly sorry I was delayed in sending these replies! I'm quite ill, actually, and it's not that I'm faking it so I can get out of visiting Grandfather's wife's family on Taniquetil. It isn't. I can't stand up without coughing, and I can't bend over without coughing either. It may be tuberculosis, since I coughed up blood the other day - or the fact that my jaw is still bruised—Maitimo is still grinning, and I'm not allowed to punch him in the face.

Well, I suppose I should get onto answering letters.

If there are bloodstains, I apologise...but it only serves to prove my earlier statement: I may have tuberculosis.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelco,<em>

_Ai! My life has been just insane recently. Melkor would be proud to be able to claim such chaos as his own work. But that is all beside the point. Quite simply, this is my long-winded and ramble-y attempt at apologizing for taking so long to write back. So, yes...sorry._

_Anyway, in regards to your last letter, in order of importance:_

_Firstly, I'd like to say if you don't want to come off as a stalker you shouldn't say things that make you sound stalker like. Such as knowing which of your brothers I have a crush on. Also, merely by existing you come off as arrogant. Your a son of Fëanor, arrogance is in your blood. _

_Secondly, I will do whatever it takes to erase all record of that conversation from history. I will find those letters and destroy them myself if I have to. Your father isn't the only Noldo who knows how to set things on fire._

_And thirdly, I'm glad you finally got out of that washroom, though I have no doubt you are scarred for life. At the very least, I've gathered your not going to be able to look at the toilet the same way ever again. Poor, poor, Tyelcormo._

_Also you have my pity for that lovely bruise on your jaw that Maitimo gave you. I saw you while you were out taking your stroll the other day (I was busy keeping a watch over my younger sisters as they were out playing), and all I can say is __that is a most unnatural shade of purple. _

_And here I was thinking Maitimo was so nice, especially after that story you told me about him in your last letter, (you could have at least told your family where you were going, by the way.) but he certainly isn't one who's bad side you wish to get on, is he?_

_It would appear even Makalaurë isn't immune to being kind of arrogant sometimes. Not if he's talking about himself like that! Though for all I know, I could have read that the wrong way and those are all your own words. It doesn't matter either way to me, personally I find arrogance and pride as more noble faults. Poetic in a way._

_I wonder if that last sentence made any sense? This is what you get for spending your days surrounded by scrolls, books and stories! You start looking at the world as if it *is* a story!_

_As for what Kano should write about...what about the Great Journey? When I was an elfling Grandfather would always tell me stories about that, and I loved them._

_Either that or the Creation of the world and the Fall of Melkor. But that's just me and my love of pride as a fault again. As I said before there is something almost poetic about it._

_Ai! Again things are becoming chaotic around here! I must go now, my sisters are shouting about something. Here's hoping I survive, and retain most of my sanity until I get your reply,_

_~Ataralassie_

Dear Ataralassie,

I accept your apology. But come on! That is so stereotypical that you would label me as arrogant because of the blood that runs through my veins! Speaking of which, there is a stain right here -

You won't have to worry - I usually set the letters on fire myself after I finish replying to them. You see, I rewrite the letter onto another piece of parchment, and then I respond to it, usually at the bottom. It really helps with my dexterity. I am, alas, left-handed, and so unnaturally ambidextrous because I must conform to the way of the Eldar, and yes, my father is right-handed but also ambidextrous, but my goodness that's because he broke his right hand once and couldn't stand to wait for it to heal before he could write another letter. But the point is that it really sucks, because usually when I write with my left hand, ink smears across the paper like this. - - - - - - - - - - - - See? You can't even read it.

Never again. You are very correct. I don't see why Father had to invent such an unconventional object.

Oh, so you saw me trip too, right? This is because Maitimo reads letters over people's shoulders (read: takes Findekáno's letters and gets furious before he even fully comprehends the entire thing) and then seeks to kill me after he sees what it says. And I forgot to tell my family about hunting with Oromë, yes I know that was a bit stupid on my part. You shouldn't get on his bad side - he glares at you throughout dinner and then makes you feel like you need to sleep with one eye open.

You have got to be kidding me. Makalaurë, not immune to arrogance? He is the most arrogant after me and Curufin! That's got to be the most hilarious thing ever; you honestly thought he was humble? That's only to people who don't know him. My goodness—he is so confident that arrogance just reverberates off his voice when he sings. Yes, he did say that about himself. He knows it good and well.

Mother always said that arrogance and pride would get Father killed. I don't know about that. Maybe it's just because she's sometimes really angry at him and wants nothing more than to kill him herself.

The world isn't a story—it's a great epic. A music, performed by us, the Valar, and woven together by Eru. At least, that's what I think.

I'm not sure Grandfather will be too hot on listening about his old friend Elwë; knowing him, he'll start crying and then Indis will have to drag him away, and whattaya know, Finarfin's younger sister might pop out of nowhere. But I'll consult Makalaurë on it. Who knows? Maybe it won't result in a catastrophic fiasco. And don't laugh—this is an extremely serious matter of whether or not Atar will kill us for doing it. Maybe the Creation of the World would be something ideal.

Were you surprised that I am ambidextrous?

_Tyelkormo_

* * *

><p><em>Dearest, darlingest Turco,<em>

_I wish I could get away with that. If I ever say yes to a marriage proposal, take me to a mental institution, and do not let me out until I am sane again. And, yes it is a quote. It's from one of my singing exercises. The song is actually quite cool. It's to practice different mood in singing (it starts off quite slow and serious, then goes jazzy for most of the song, slows down near the end and finishes fast) and with dotted rhythms. There is this vocal game that is all the rage with us telerin girls. It's called katajjaq. Irisse, Nerwen myself and Lalwende were out riding the other day, when I had a vision, almost like a prophecy. I saw Ambarto burning in a swan-ship, you, Atarinke, Carnistir and Ambarussa dead, but covered in blood, Makalaure wandering a beach, as if he was lost and Maitimo with his right hand gone, throwing himself into a volcano. I also had a nightmare, like the vision but was preceded by a vision of Maitimo, underfed, dressed in rags, his hair cut short, chained to a mountain by his right hand. He looked as if he was dead. These visions worry me. _

_love, Simpa_

_P.S I know for a fact that it was Makalaure. My room is next door, and I heard him singing. I also saw them both go in, and lock the door. And not come out._

_P.P.S If you are laughing at my situation, I promise you, I'll come and punch that grin right off your face. Physically._

_P.P.P.S Tell Makalaure to do a musical about segregation in another world. I don't know - people who's skins are dark are oppressed by those with white skins? And those who are overweight or simply different are shunned as well. Just don't tell him that the idea was mine. I am currently not talking to him. _

_P.P.P.P.S I was rummaging around in the back of my cupboard, when I found an old picture of me and you, not long after you were born. I was holding you and you were playing with my hair. On the back was this writing "I love Tyelkormo. He's so quiet, and is absolutely adorable. I like being a big sister. Turco giggles when he plays with my hair, and does so often."_

Dear Simpa,

Mental institution? They have mental institutions here?

It seems that you should be shipped off to one then, if you're having weird dreams about me dying, Telvo dying, Pityo, Curvo, and Moryo dying, Nelyo suicidal, and Kano wandering a beach. Actually, Kano wandering a beach doesn't sound too different from Kano right now. Come on. You don't honestly take this seriously, do you? You don't have to worry. Whatever it is, I'm sure we'll be able to take care of ourselves. If you'd like, I'll ask Mother on the subject.

By the way, we don't even _have_ a volcano in Tirion. That's absurd.

Don't worry, we're not dying,

_Tyelkormo_

**Postscript: **Actually, that may have been Elemmirë. He looks so much like Kano, even though he's a Vanya! How do the Vanyar have dark-haired people amongst them? By the way, this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Noldorin and blonde, so don't even mention it.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> Fine. Come at me, bro. (Is that how it's supposed to be used? My goodness, how do young people say things these days?)  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> Why aren't you talking to him? _I'll make a note to tell him about_ _it._  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript:<strong> I don't know you. At all.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_The image of you dressed as Indis made me laugh so hard that I spilled wine all over your letter, and now the ink is running. It is a shame you did not try that. I am terribly sorry that you were bruised so badly. It sounds quite painful._

_Ah, your father was always paranoid. He sometimes even believes that my father is trying to steal his father's love from him. If only he knew how impossible that was! To me, my dear cousin, it seems that he always has an odd glint in the eye._

_Your loving cousin, _

_Findekáno_

_p.s. That night we went out to the lake and did some swimming. It was getting so hot in the building. After that we lay out on the shore to dry and just talked about this and that and tried impersonating all the nobles. _

_p.p.s. On second thought, if you promise to tell no one and tell me one secret weakness of Curvo, I shall tell you what we do out by the rose gardens – with Maitimo's permission, of course._

_p.p.p.s. I have a terrible suspicion that you are right. _

_p.p.p.p.s. Tell Kano that he should write a musical about the Valar. A comedy would do nicely, I think._

Dear Findekáno,

Shut up. It was very painful, I'll have you know, and when I string you up, dress you up as Miriel, and put you out on the balcony for the world to see, you'll know how I felt, because I actually did dress up like Queen Indis, and then I had to undo the stupid braiding in my hair. Maitimo actually still punched me, though I was dressed up like the queen. (So the letter earlier, when I asked you if it would have worked - yes, I did dress up as her after I asked to borrow one of Mother's dresses.)

Well, I mean, there are several different glints in his eyes, you know. You've just got to be able to pinpoint which one he's showing at the time.

Your annoyed cousin who thinks there is absolutely nothing funny about dressing up like Queen Indis but still getting one in the jaw,

_Tyelkormo_

**Postscript:** Oh, it was just going out for a swim? You should have taken the Ambarussa with you—they were so bored and kept bugging me to break out of the banquet hall and cause a ruckus and call for Huan. And as I recall, I actually did that. While drunk on _ancamir_.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> Then you know you'll never be able to tell me. Tell you what. We can meet at the waterfall some time during this week, and I'll tell you in exchange for two things. Curvo's greatest weakness, and the documents that Makalaurë recorded. Otherwise, Maitimo will end up triumphing, and I will have another blood splattering on your letter.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript: <strong>It's because I am right.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript:<strong>

_Dear Findekáno,_

_Yes, this is Makalaurë. And a comedy of the Valar? Do you want me to get smited?_

_Ai, Valar,_

_Makalaurë_

**Post-post-post-post-postscript: **I'll try to convince Kano to do all of the suggestions; I know he could merge the ideas. He just wants to stick with one though.

* * *

><p><em>Oh well I must admit it, it is a great idea you hat (my apologies for my horrible spelling... this toung isn't mine and I have yet to master it)<em>

_I hope I do not ask to mutch but... I just can't resist..._

_Dear Makalaurë,_

_I hope you are well, and you are able to find some quiert moment esven with this six brothers of yours._

_And also I hope it was no joke that you're looking for inspiration for a new pice of your music - this was what your brother mentiond._

_Well I must admit, I am no musican myself but I would advice you to put your life in music. Not directly I mean, but coverd behind the tunes. _

_Maby a musik fittig to your mood and then again one that just feels right to you... or does describes something you experineced._

_Hoping, I was able to help you._

_Greetings_

_Silent one_

_PS.: Oh would you ples tell your brother, that I wish him a swift recovery? That would be great of you_

_PSS.: My apologie for my terrible gasp on this language, I hope you are not angry with me for my mistakes, but you are welcome to laugth about me... you woulnd't be the first. (But I gave my best)_

Dear Silent One,

May I call you _quildemin? _It is 'quiet one' in our tongue.

Tyelkormo—er, the one who usually responds to these letters—told me about the letter you have sent. Personally, I find it very nice that you tried to write a letter to me in Quenya.

But of course I never have a single moment of quiet with Tyelkormo and Maitimo always in the same room...but I thank you for your blessing, and your advice. Recently I have had writer's block on music, and your words really open up to me. Thank you very much.

Your advice is very helpful,

_Makalaurë_

**Postscript: **It would seem that Tyelkormo has the sympathy of many people. Just as well; he deserves it. My goodness, that bruise was really something! I winced when I saw it.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> I wouldn't laugh; don't worry. I think you are very brave, for choosing to write in an unfamiliar mode, at risk of being ridiculed. You remind me much of Tyelkormo.

* * *

><p><em>Oh, Tyelkormo<em>

_I am so sorry. Please do NOT kill yourself! I'd miss you. I am sure your father will find some excuse for you not to go. He is not a big fan of Olorin right now anyway. So, just say Olorin wants you...because...because it's part of the Valar's scheme to keep us slaves here or something. Or use me as example. I mean the first thing I did when I got when I got home was jump on my bed, scream, and kiss Tyelpe. Now would you consider that wise?_

_Did your shirt fit? I wasn't so sure about your size. I used Olorin as a model, but he is pretty skinny, you're a little more muscular, hmmmm. Anyway, I saw your brother Makalaure today in town with some girl I don't know, is he courting someone? She was very pretty, and I think I saw them kissing behind a tree later. _

_Sorry I caused you more pain,_

_Nerwen_

_p.s. Don't worry about Olorin, okay?_

_p.p.s. Huan is certainly cute. I remember that Elf. I think he is now engaged to my cousin, Firiel. Do you know why he put the brush there?_

Dear Nerwen,

It sure seems like you wish to kill me! My goodness.

You know, at first, when you wrote, 'Just say he wants you...because...' I was about to suggest that he just wants me in general. That was my initial reaction. Now that I think about it, Atar might as well have killed me and him before we'd even see each other. And no, I would not consider that wise. And this is coming from me. You saw Tyelpe? How is he doing? I haven't been able to see him yet, since we're in the Vanyarin settlement and I'm practically bedridden when I'm not on my knees before Manwë, Varda, and Ingwë...

It's actually bigger than I imagined, since you did say you used that Istar as a model. But it fits just fine. And what's with that 'hmmmm'?

Wait, you say you saw Makalaurë?

Okay, that may have been this morning, when we hadn't set out. But you'd be surprised by how quick we get from Tirion to Taniquetil, what with Father's odd machinations. It only took three hours, with that device he used. I don't think Makalaurë was courting her publicly. I think it's best to investigate, though. When I get back to Tirion, we need to meet up for further examination. I've got the perfect plot stirring in my mind—and oh Eru, I'm starting to sound like Father. He's rubbing off on me.

As long as you don't do it again, it's fine,

_Tyelkormo_

**Postscript:** I should hope not! It causes more stress. I don't want to be coughing up pools of blood by the time we get out of the Vanyarin cities!  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> It's obvious that he wanted one of your tresses. I'm very sorry, Nerwen, but many Elves are after your hair.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> Did you seriously sew your insignia onto my shirt? My goodness.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_I have a feeling your father is spontaneous about nearly everything! At least this time it's for the better for both you and Lady Nerdanel..._

_Ai, your jaw sounds like it's terribly painful! You really ought to get that looked at, if you're still in pain. I bet Maitimo is doing quite a bit of gloating over you and your silence/agony!_

_That mental image is forever emblazoned in my mind now, thank you very much! You and your brothers really are quite entertaing._

_Why, yes, that part did have a bit of sarcasm attached, in the sense of "This is an understatement." My un-level-headedness manifests itself in being rather spacey and un-engaged, though, as opposed to having anger issues...like certain others who I might happen to be writing a letter to write now._

_-Crackers_

Dear Crackers,

Sadly for us. Ammë is convinced that he's trying to ruin all of our lives though. I'm not sure.

Maitimo—I'd like to make him _Ilmaitimo, _if you catch my drift... I'm in a lot of pain right now. Bedridden. And I'm forced to use my right hand—since I kind of can't use my dominant hand, left, to write, since ink smears across the paper when I do so, and look - —so I'm a bit more annoyed than usual.

I'm glad we provide very interesting entertainment then. Would you like to hear of the time that I jumped off of a cliff and...oops, I probably shouldn't finish that sentence.

Understatement indeed. And anger issues? I have anger issues? Please! You should see Maitimo! _He. Has. Anger. Issues. _He's the one who gave me this damn crippling bruise. I don't know if you've noticed, but I can't really move my jaw, and it's because of _that. Elf. _I don't have anger issues. Maitimo. Has. Anger. Management. _Problems. _I cannot believe I'm always labeled as the one with a short temper. That is quite unjustified on my behalf. I've dealt with my brothers for so long—especially the twins on Pranking Week—I should be eulogized for my damn patience.

I. do. not. have. anger. issues.

I promise you.

_Tyelkormo_

* * *

><p>Okay. So, Makalaurë will send out a letter—actually a <em>reply—<em>to all of you guys. He complains about my handwriting. Just because he's a bard and I'm not. I'll have you know I can play piano! Decently enough. It doesn't sound like Maitimo at all, because, trust me, _Maitimo. cannot. play. any. sort. of. musical. instrument._

It's mostly a letter of thanks.

And maybe the fact that he'll probably merge all of the ideas together to create an opera—that lazy Elf, wouldn't do it before.

* * *

><p>-o-<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I am quite very terribly sorry for posting this so late. This is a Christmas present to you all... :D<strong>

**As for Tyelkormo being ambidextrous (unnaturally), yeah, I got that idea after my cousin noted that I should write with my right hand instead of my left, because it really looks ugly when the pencil lead/pen ink smears across the paper. I mean, I can write with both hands naturally—sadly, this entitles me to become a breathing freakshow right under my friends' noses ("Hey, can you use both hands to write a sentence?")("What the hell do you think I am? Of course I can't! My hands would collide with each other, you idiots!")—but I prefer my left. And it's really sad that Freyr thinks my handwriting is extremely bad when it comes to my left hand.**

Anyways, _god jul, _all of you!

Don't forget to feed your nisse rømmegøt or pudding!

**As for the letter that Maglor is going to send out - I have no idea when he'll do it. :P**


	10. Chapter 10

_Dear Makalaurë,_

_Sure, you are welcome to call ne that way, and I am honored that you choose to wright an answer to me. _

_I am grateful he did, would you be so kind and tell this to your younger brother?_

_I would have been confused, if not. Please this was not meant as an insult, but... well I am an older sibling myself and know that it is seldom quiet... But I am glad, that I was able to offer you a small hint_

_Greetings_

_Silent one – or newly (and proudly) quildemin_

_PS: Valar help, this sounds most painful. I hope, the healer available was or properly it would be better to use, *is*, good an experienced. If you would give the pillowcase and the other page of the letter to your brother… _

_PPS: Thank you, for your kind words. My sister is trying to tell me, it was a foolish deed, but well I prefer your interpretation. I am most honored, that you compared me to your brother._

_Dear Tyelkormo, _

_I am terrible sorry to read about your, well pardon me my bluntness, bad condition._

_Well I can offer you practically nothing to help you; even though I am sorry for this as well. But I wish you a swift recovery. _

_Maybe this could be useful to you: I may not know Maitimo personally (would be a little difficult, given the fact, that I am no Noldo) but I know quite well that, older siblings are (at least in most cases) concerned for their younger ones… especially, when they are not well… Perhaps you could use this, for well a kind of revenge, for feeling guilty is not a funny, but a painful, thing._

_Now to the pillowcase I send to you. Do not get it wrong please, it is not more and not less, than a "get well" present (and was a way of keeping boredom at bay, while I made it). I know well enough, that your farther would be… offended, if it would be for him (and that if only half the things I know about him would be true) but I hope you will not be. I know I am not good if it comes to sew thing… But it should remember you, there are people who care…_

_Greetings _

_Silent one (or quildemin)_

Dear Quildemin,

It's very nice to hear from you again! I was rather happy when I received your response, and I'm glad that I have received your consent. And I did not think of it as an insult—I find it quite nice that you would offer advice to me on two different topics. And of course, that quip in the letter, after Tyelkormo read it to proofread, earned me a smack on the shoulder, so I suppose I should have clarified a bit more... But with younger siblings, there's bound to be that one sibling that makes noise... Ai...but I love them so...

With kind regards,

_Makalaurë_

**P.S.: **Certainly! The healer wasn't exactly too gentle with Tyelko, but he's better now, for which I am thankful...and laughing at.

**P.P.S.: **Many people don't consider that a good thing, to be compared with Tyelkormo, but I think it's a good thing. He's a free, untamed spirit. But I'd very much like for you to write again.

Dear Quildemin,

Well, hello! I'm Tyelkormo. And yes...it's true, I received a good clout to the jaw. By my brother. Betrayed by my own blood! Hah. But thank you for your kind thoughts—I think I'm feeling quite better now that I've gotten a load of rest and lots of salve on my bruise!

Maitimo did feel a bit guilty (which was pretty big a step of forgiveness on his part), but he was still pretty annoyed at me. Not angry, but annoyed. I don't understand why he would even feel annoyed and not angry, and then punch me for it... But now that you've suggested it, I think I'll do it. This should be interesting.

And thank you very much for the pillowcase. I shall forever keep your kindness (and the boredom that accompanied your kindness...heh) in my heart. Now, Atar, he's horrible at sewing. He's just...a monster with the needle. He broke five of them trying to sew one stitch.

Currently pulling the pillowcase over a pillow,

_Tyelkormo_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_What is the first thing you think when you see me? I know this sounds silly, but please answer it. If you do, I'll tell you what I first thing when I see you, though I am guessing my your letters so far that you are going to make some smart remark about hoping that I won't hurt you. _

_I am glad you got out of the apprenticeship. I hope your father is not going to decree war on the Maier and Valar populations. Yes, I have seen Tyelpë. He is doing very well. He has been having lots of fun with my grandfather this morning; they made a castle out of dirt and stone in the garden. _

_Well, I am glad it fits. The "hmmm" was me thinking, wondering what to say next, or was it? Do you think that I am being to flirtatious. Finderato thinks that I have flirting to often with people lately._

_I hope you feel better soon. Though being bedridden in Valimar is not as bad as being bedridden in Tirion if you have the windows open you can just soak in the light. I remember once when I had broken my arm falling off a roof and was bedridden in Valimar. They put me on this soft feather bed and all these healers came around and made little chants. It was quite amusing. My arm was healed in a matter of days. On your knees all the time, really? Ingwe can sometimes be a little formal but if you tell Manwe, your knees hurt, he will understand. In fact, the Valar actually don't like being bowed to. They find it annoying, but they try to hide this because they know we use it as a way of reverence, anyway that's what learned from Aule once, when he was in one of his bits of chatter. I ought to learn Valarin then I could learn so much more about them. I bet your father knows a lot of stuff he isn't telling us._

_Okay, I'll see you then._

_Love,_

_Nerwen_

_p.s. Oh, dear, I think I'll take to wearing hats, or I'll have to cut it all off to please the throng. Maybe, I'll dye it._

_p.p.s. I am sorry, Turko. I am guessing your father wasn't pleased._

Dear Nerwen,

The first thing I think? Laurelin. Okay, I know it's a bit silly, but I've always put sincerity before sarcasm in cases where women asked for honest opinions on comparisons. I truly think, and if you repeat this to anyone else I will firmly deny it and kill myself, that Laurelin is a symbolism of hope, beauty, and light, like Telperion, but you know...with more of that emphasis on compassion and kindness. Telperion's more of knowledge and wisdom to me, tempered by love. I hope your younger brothers won't hurt me when they read this. That's what I'm worried about.

Knowing Atar, he will. And knowing the Valar, everyone's going to know about it by sundown if Atar (most likely) did. Let's just hope he didn't. Now...which grandfather? I recently visited Mahtan, after coming back from Taniquetil, since he's obviously had to have clonked his head on something a few times - so he recommended I go to a healer. What he doesn't know is that I've been to five, and almost none of them have cured this dastardly bruise.

Ah. Well, I'm not exactly the right person for you to ask, since plenty of ladies have flirted with me, and I barely even notice it out of habit. Findaráto is probably right though... (and knowing him, if I didn't say it, he would have this crestfallen look...)

...Atar knows Valarin. But really? Healers attended to you? I suppose it's because I didn't call for one at all... And the Valar don't like being bowed to? Are you serious? After all these years... I cannot believe it. All these years of sore knees and aching backs and they don't even appreciate it. Well. I see how it is. One day, I shall stand during 'holy time' and see what they do. Perhaps Ulmo will even crack a smile, and Oromë will blow his horn. (That sounded awfully obscene...)

Atar does know...much. Much that we cannot comprehend. Or even want to comprehend.

I'll meet you at the center square in the main market,

_Tyelkormo_

**Postscript:** Oh, no! Nerwen, your hair is truly too beautiful to dye! (- This is Finrod speaking. He is currently retrieving his lyre from my house - left it there last time - so he wanted to say hi...)  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> No, he was actually smiling oddly. I'm not sure what it meant.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_Gracious! Maitimo punched you whilst you were dressed as Indis? That must have looked very peculiar. But at least he knew that it was you (although I know that is not what you wanted) if he had thought that you were Indis and then punched you…Well, I am just glad that was not the case._

_The glint that your father usually has in his eye when he is around me is the watch-out-son-of-my-despised-half-brother-I-am-watching-you-and-if-you-try-anything-to-usurp-my-place-or-steal-my-son's-love-from-me-I-shall-throw-you-into-the-deepest-depths-of-the-ocean one – a rather disturbing glint if you ask me. _

_You wish to dress me as Miriel? I am afraid that that would not work very well, seeing how I do not look much like her. In fact, of all my family, I look most like my mother. And I do not see why you are making such a fuss about braiding your hair. I braid mine with gold every day, and it does not bother me._

_Your loving cousin,_

_Findekáno_

_p.s. Ah, I wish that I had seen that! But as for taking the Ambarussa, I do not think so, my good cousin. They always cause too much noise and commotion while swimming and would have probably wanted to have a wrestling match afterwards. With Maitimo the eldest of you and your brothers and me the eldest of my siblings and Arafinwë's children, we sometimes like to get away together and enjoy some peace and quiet for a while – alone._

_p.p.s. Yes, I shall meet you at the waterfall this week. It is strange how many negotiations and secret truces that one place has seen. And do not worry; I shall come alone._

_p.p.p.s. I wish that you were not correct, but alas! that cannot be changed. _

_p.p.p.s. _

_Dear Makalaurë, _

_Of course I do not wish you to be smited! If you wish to know, Aulë thought that it was a very good idea._

_With love,_

_Findekáno_

Dear Findekáno,

Why do you sound so surprised that he punched me as Indis?

Ah. That glint. I've seen the one where 'son' turned into 'father.' It was frightening. Probably more disturbing than that glint that you have just listed with amazing patience. How did you manage to define it in a few words? If I had tried, I would have needed a paragraph.

Perhaps, but no one should be able to distinguish you from a half of mile radius, since we all know that some certain King of the Noldor will immediately halt the scene until he gets there himself to investigate... I am afraid that I don't look much like my father or my mother. Hmmph. Blond hair. Where did that come from anyway? And with the braiding hair thing - I simply do not have the hands to do it efficiently. There aren't many times that I have braided my hair - only on my brothers' becoming of age parties. But not my own.

Your recovering cousin,

_Tyelkormo_

**Postscript: **Of course... And then the children either come to me or Kano. And most of the time, it's me, since I have a massive, magical dog named Huan who has a soft spot for children and lets them ride on his back. Honestly. I recall, when you were little, that you did the same thing, and then I had to catch you when you were about to fall off of him. You were actually pretty adorable, when you were a child. Maitimo thought the same.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> Wonderful. In case this time Maitimo succeeds in murdering me and casting my torn apart limbs into the pool below, I shall bring Huan. Perhaps you'd like to ride him again? You really did like it, when you were younger.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> It's alright, my dear cousin. Eventually, people will come to realise that we aren't too eccentric. At least, too eccentric to be approachable. You'll get those sisters one day.  
><strong>Post-post-post-postscript:<br>**Dear Findekáno,

I am pretty sure that Ulmo would _very much_ appreciate it if I were to bring light to his marital status. Or with Yavanna on how she is obsessed with plants. Or how Tulkas probably takes steroids and exercises a lot.

With an increasingly stressed mind, but affection as well,

_Makalaurë_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_What would make your mother think that? Well, besides his general aura and personality, that is..._

_When you get out of bed, I have a feeling Maitimo is going to get it and get it good. (In a manner of speaking) I almost pity him, almost..._

_Come on! You started the sentence, now you *have* to finish it, or leave me eternally tormented wondering what you were going to say. Tell me!_

_Funny how he isn't the one named "hasty riser," though... I suppose your mother was more focused on the physical with him, hmm? Ooh, the twins on Pranking Week...that sounds like it could be quite frightening..._

_Hope you feel better soon! I'm interested to hear from Makalaurë, too!_

_-Crackers_

Dear Crackers,

I don't know. She may be some sort of fortune-teller, and then after she views our future, she goes into withdrawal until we ask her what's wrong... I'm actually quite worried for her, now that we're on the subject... Do you think she's unwell?

He shall. I am recovering and currently eating saltine crackers. Though I am very, very sorry for ingesting the kin of your namesake... Perhaps you'd like a turkey in return?

I'm sure you wouldn't want to listen to me saying that I jumped off of a cliff...and then nearly gave Atar and Ammë a heart attack... Carnistir was youngest at the time, and he was looking quite glum. (I guess I'm telling you the story now... Ai...) So I decided to provide some entertainment. Maitimo and Kano were off to the side, watching me absentmindedly when abruptly, synapses connected and they started in horror, seeing me approach the cliff. Of course, Carnistir laughed all the way, after I told him to watch his big brother do the daring. Ammë was quite angry with me. Atar was just relieved that I had come out alive and didn't bother scolding me.

Hasty riser? Oh, many people figure that as a misconception. It's not because of temper, though it could be, but it isn't; it's because of my eagerness to go hunting, and the best time to go hunting in the woods here is in the morning, at around the first to second hour of Laurelin's lights. So I always dress with a hurried air, and sometimes my hunting tunic is backwards. But with the twins on Pranking Week... Hell in Valinor.

Recovering fully and duly,

_Tyelkormo_

**Postscript: **This letter is from Makalaurë.

Dear Crackers,

Hello! You must be one of my brother's penpals. He never socialises as well with strangers he meets on the road unlike writing to someone! It's really odd to think that, but he's my brother, so I'm not exactly allowed to criticise him for it...

The celebration is soon, but I'm much too busy and disoriented to send out invitations. Maybe I'll force Tyelkormo to do it...in his own handwriting. Despite the misconception that males have horrible handwriting, his is quite fine, for a hunter.

Sincerely,

_Makalaurë_

* * *

><p>The celebration is in a few weeks, and I'm quite nervous. I do believe that I will be forced to braid my hair, so if you plan attending, please do not try to spot me amass the wave of Elves from all over Aman. Atar is sure to make me look formal, and Ammë is quite very sure to force me into the stuffiest, most strangling robes I have.<p>

I have been called upon to swear that I shall not whistle for Huan when I am absolutely drunk and the Ambarussa ask me to do so.

That is quite unfair. What if I'm drunk, and I don't remember a bit of it? Shall I die by breaking my oath?

* * *

><p><strong>So... This was really late.<br>Sincerely sorry.**

**But maybe you'll have some fun responding! The celebration is coming up!**


	11. Chapter 105

_Greetings for All Kinds!_

**You have been cordially invited  
><strong>**to attend the annual celebration in honor of the Valar,  
>or whatever I had told you,<br>because truth be told,  
>I can barely even remember it under the stress.<strong>

Tyelkormo has written this for me  
>since I am extremely tired at the moment.<br>I hope you will all receive invitations.

**Also, thank you very much for the advice!  
>I hope you will be able to enjoy this musical<br>and not have to see me be smited by Tulkas  
>because I said he took steroids!<strong>

(Okay, no, Tyelkormo wrote that part about the steroids.  
>You'll see that it has been scratched out.)<p>

_**Please do come, if you have the time!**_

_**Location: 007 Oathforward Dr.  
>Time: Sixth Hour of Laurelin's lights<strong>_

__**You will be received kindly at the  
>steps of the palace!<strong>


	12. Chapter 11

_Dear Makalaurë_

_I could say the very same. But I am glad; my letter was not a disturbance in your eyes._

_Be happy you have them around, that is a luck not everybody has. Knowing you (younger) sibling is in trouble but being so far away, that you are unable to do anything… it is a living nightmare, I assure you. But please pay no heed to my bad mood._

_Greetings _

_Quildemin_

_P.S.: Does anybody know a gentle healer? Or do they exist?_

_P.P.S.: The way you put it I am able to image how your brother must have been, as he was younger… quite cute (PLEASE DO NOT LET HIM READ MY LAST SENTENCE!)_

_Dear Tyelkormo,_

_I thank you for your replay (I know more than enough fellows, who would chose not to respond)._

_Right now I am tempt to write to your oldest brother… well to ask him what possessed him to hurt you so. But I guess it is rather unwise to do that, given the fact, that I do not even know your brother. _

_I am glad to hear (or rather read) that you are better. But now I have to admit, that I am confused. Did I get you right? Your brother hurt you, because he was annoyed with you? (I hate myself for my problems with this wonderful tongue of your people)_

_I am happy, that you seem to like it!_

_WATH 5 broken needles one stich? Well… I broke one in all my life (the times I did not only stich the fabric but myself as well are uncounted, but that was while I was learning how to). Is it even possible to break so many? Or the better question what was the material your father tried to sew, not a piece of cloth or? Or was the needle made of glass? Sorry but I'm having a hard time to understand that THIS should even be possible…_

_Oh I hope that you will survive this feast, you mentioned for it does sound like you dislike such events. For your hair and this robe, try to see it this way, it is only for a few hours. Your other point… the most effective way would properly not to drink any wine or whatever is served. For if you are not drunk, you will keep your word, no matter what you do…if I got it right._

_Greetings _

_Quildemin_

Dear Quildemin,

I'm dearly sorry that I haven't been able to respond! I should blame Tyelkormo; he went off hunting for nearly an entire week and locked the letters in a cabinet with the key around his neck. And then he broke his leg and ended up being unconscious for five days, unable to walk for ten, and then recovering the rest of the month. Today, he felt better enough to respond, but he's still too tired to lift up a quill, or even say anything sarcastic, for that matter, so I'll have to respond to the letters today. I hope you won't mind.

Though it's a bit too late to say this...are you feeling better?

As for Maitimo giving Tyelkormo the wound, I think it involved something with our cousin Findekáno and Maitimo himself. I have no idea, but yes, Maitimo did punch Tyelkormo. Tyelkormo had it coming though. Tyelkormo wasn't able to speak for a while because of the fact that the bruise was so great. He can talk now. He cursed quite a lot today. Maitimo's not usually violent either; he's a big softie at heart and awkward with some people in terms of affection.

Tyelkormo's sleeping with it right now...

I have no idea how it's possible either, but it happened. Ammë was quite beside herself, laughing so hard as he threw the rest of the needles into the fireplace in frustration.

I'm afraid that Tyelkormo got very, very drunk during the event. I am sighing very much right now, recalling it. He ended up taking off the formal robes, revealing the tunic and breeches beneath - and then he proceeded to remove his tunic, earning appreciative whistles from the crowd! This was right when I was performing too, that insensitive idiot. Everyone immediately turned from me to him to gape and gawk and whistle.

Sincerely,

_Makalaurë_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_When you put it that way, it sounds like she may be! She's been living in that house with you males for too long, and, poor dear, it's eaten away at her sanity!_

_Great news that you're recovering well! My poor (almost) kin aren't, though, as they're being ground to bits and drowned in acid... ~~~(Do you see these wrinkles in the paper from my tears over them?) A turkey! I daresay! I claim full restitution for their deaths. _

_What a lovely story! I imagine they were quite traumatized by your actions. Ah, your poor mother. Do you think that seeing her son (apparently) commit suicide has anything to do with her current state?_

_Whatever makes you feel good... Though jumping off a cliff randomly wouldn't be considered hasty-rising, right? (Note the sarcasm.)_

_What's the worst thing they've ever done on a Pranking Week? (Or do I want to know?)_

_Enjoy the feast?_

_-Crackers_

_P.S. I've enclosed a separate letter for Makalaurë. _

_Dear Makalaurë,_

_It's a pleasure to 'meet' you! I am indeed one of the penpals, I suppose for the same reasons as Tyelkormo, having socializing-in-person issues... You don't really have those at all, do you?_

_What's keeping you so busy these days? (Though I think I could get quite busy if I was going to have to write invitations, too...)_

_By the way, how is writing your musical going?_

_-Crackers_

Dear Crackers,

I'll be answering the letters today, since Tyelkormo is, well, quite and extremely tired. He just got back from a hunting expedition with a broken leg, and, well, he was unconscious for five days because of the trauma. Atar told him not to mess with boars; he just doesn't what's this about Ammë's sanity being eaten away? Tyelkormo makes some of the strangest remarks. Hmm. He's just...atypical, in his manner. I'll answer the letter addressed to me first, if you don't mind.

Socialising-in-person issues? I'm not entirely sure. I'm not as social as Maitimo or the twins. Note: they are red-headed. Note: Father, Curvo, Moryo, and I are dark-haired. We keep to ourselves, mostly. And then there's Tyelkormo, the fair-haired one whose head is as light as his hair.

I made Tyelkormo write the invitations. Cue mad cackling. I was a bit busy because the tenors kept saying that they didn't want to sing a really high note, and I was angry, and I wouldn't revise it, and they wouldn't cooperate, so in the end, they won out and I changed it to a-three.

I think it went all right. The Valar were laughing. Is that a good thing?

Ah, it's the first time he's ever joked about his nickname with anyone! You must be very special to him, my lady, if that is so. Your tears are...quite convincing. May I ask if it is lemon juice that you have placed onto the paper? Some of it is stained yellow, and I doubt that is the color of anyone's tears...

...When Tyelkormo jumped from the cliff, that was not funny. I still don't understand why he doesn't understand what 'prohibited' means. He's not an idiot. As for Pranking Week, Valar, it was horrible. They painted my lyre green and splattered my violin with pink! Then, the violin's sound quality totally went down the drain because of the fact that the paint muffled the vibrations, and the vibrato! Hmmph. The Ambarussa also dyed Tyelkormo's hair dark. Did you know he looks a lot like me when he has black hair?

Sincerely,

_Makalaurë_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_Simply put, Russandol promised me that he would never punch Indis. _

_You do of course know, my good cousin, that I have a way with words, you with animals. That is why my few words would have become your paragraph. I have another question with those regards: What does your father mean when he scrunches his eyebrows together, crinkles his nose, places a finger to his earlobe, and scratches his neck? I find that one very peculiar._

_You look quite similar to Nerdanel's mother, if you are trying to determine where you get your looks. It really is a shame that you do not bother with braiding your hair; it would look quite lovely woven with strands of emeralds. _

_I do not believe that I would want to distress anyone by dressing as Miriel, especially since, if I did, your father would most likely banish me from his house for eternity._

_Your loving cousin,_

_Findekáno_

_p.s. Huan really is a wonderful dog. And he does attract children by the throngs. I think it is all very sweet. I remember riding him! And you catching me. I felt very safe in your hands. He did? I remember how Nelyo used to lift me up to dance with him at the festivals. Just out of curiosity, what am I now?_

_p.p.s. I would love to see Huan again! (Although I doubt you need him as a bodyguard.) Do you not think that I am perhaps a bit large for riding him now?_

_p.p.p.s. If we cannot find sisters, we would be happy with close friends or cousins, just as long they wish to live together._

_p.p.p.p.s._

_Dear Makalaurë, _

_Ulmo, I am sure, would be indebted to you. In fact, I believe that all the Valar would be quite happy if you were to do this them great favor. (Except for Tulkas if you start talking about steroids. That would not be such a wise decision.) I hope that you will not be too stressed._

_With love, _

_Findekáno_

Dear Findekáno,

As you probably already know (your father might have told you), Tyelkormo is too...tired and worn-out to reply. The hunting expedition, broken leg, etc. I'll be responding to the letters for today; maybe he'll have the heart to do them tomorrow. Also, you'd be surprised by what Russandol promises. He promised not streak through Tirion either; he still did, at the behest of our little twins. Okay, no, that came out wrong. Damn it, ink doesn't erase.

Tyelkormo has never had a talent with words; that's true. His calligraphy is exceptional though. When Atar does that, it means you may wish to run; he's plotting to throw you into the fire of the forge and watch you burn. That actually, erm, happened to Tyelkormo's pet spider.

Precisely! Tyelkormo absolutely refuses to do anything with his hair. It's rather...disappointing. ...Did Tyelkormo tell you to dress up as our grandmother? Eru, he's such a troublemaker.

(_Now, Tyelkormo personally wants to respond to the postscripts. This is, however, my handwriting.)_

**Postscript: **He is, isn't he?You could always count on me to catch you. I wasn't going to let you fall at all. What are you now? Well, what do you want to be now?  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> No; Huan's gotten fatter.  
><strong>Post-post-postscript:<strong> Wow. You've got your life planned out. That's to be expected of you two, of course.

They were laughing at my musical, by the way. Is that...okay?

Sincerely,

_Makalaurë_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo,<em>

_Thank you for being honest, now I shall be. The first thing I think about when I look at you is the sea at dawn with the stars fading out slowly and the first light of Laurelin on your breast. I don't know why. I promise you that I will not let my brothers hurt you. And if I cannot compass them, I shall get Findekano to help. They usually listen to him. Actually, they nearly worship him, so you should be safe._

_Well, I hope it's just a verbal bout. I was speaking of Finwë. I believe that he is our only shared grandfather. If almost none of them haven't healed your bruise then doesn't that mean that one of them has? I find this whole thing about you not being able to heal rather alarming! That and that you were sick! My, Turko, it sounds as if you were becoming mortal. You haven't by chance skipped into the future and met and fallen in love with a human woman have you? If you haven't this could be mighty awkward…_

_Yes, my father insisted that my arm be healed, is that so unusual? I was in much pain. I had fallen off a roof trying to spy on Tulkas and Nessa making love. Of course, I didn't tell Ada that. _

_The Valar would prefer if we just worshipped Ilúvatar. It makes them feel strange to be thought of so highly, just because they are more powerful than us, after all they were not the ones who made the power, it was a gift, or at least that's what Olórin keeps telling me. _

_Till we meet in the square, your cousin,_

_Nerwen_

_p.s. Finderato made me promise not to dye my hair._

_p. p. s. I wonder why and what it meant. Perhaps I shall give you a handkerchief with my insignia and be there to watch his face and read his mind._

Dear Nerwen,

I'm assuming you heard of Tyelkormo's horrible broken leg as well; I don't think I'll elaborate further, as I have written it nearly three times in consecutive order... Your brothers are actually very frightening you know. Currently, Tyelkormo is grinning goofily. He says that he would kiss you now if he could see you, as this is probably the most detailed, poetic compliment he's ever gotten.

His bruise is healed now, thankfully. He can talk now; but he has a broken leg. That idiot... He had everyone worrying for him. I was afraid that I'd have to be the one writing the Lament of Turcafinwë. Knowing him, he would never dream of falling in love with a human woman.

You're quite naughty, aren't you, Nerwen? Your secret is safe with us.

That wizard is too wise. He doesn't even look the part of an old man yet. How is the Istar doing, by the way?

(_I'll definitely meet you there, Nerwen. -Tyelkormo_

**_Postscript: _**_eally? Hmm. Well...technically, you don't have to be the one to dye your hair, if that's the case.  
><strong>Post-postscript:<strong> I think that's a dangerous situation, Nerwen.)_

Sincerely,

_Makalaurë_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo, <em>

_I happen to be very unsympathetic to whatever plight you get yourself into. Of course, this may be because the first impression I got of you Feanorians was that of your father yelling at me. (How was I to know that he set that picture on fire on purpose?) Anyways, this did not leave me with a good first impression of your family, although I suppose you can't be as bad as the Ambarussa._

_Get well soon, I suppose,_

_-Aelwen_

_Not-so-dear Ambarussa,_

_Yes, I am still angry at you. No, I don't think I'll forgive you anytime soon. Harmless pranks are one thing, but cutting an elleth's hair is going a little too far, don't you think? Actually, you probably don't think so, considering that both of you actually did that. I'll have you know that it STILL hasn't grown back out. I will have my revenge, and it will be when you least expect it. Think of that and tremble._

_Yours not-so-truly_

_-Aelwen_

_Dear Makalaure, _

_I would be honored to attend and to hear your work. I'd been wondering if I would ever have a chance to do so, considering that your father has forbidden me to come anywhere near your home. (Again- I didn't know he wanted that picture burned!) It will likely be easy to spot me, as the abominations known as the Ambarussa cut my hair and now it's about half as long as the other elleths' hair. Best of luck, and I sincerely hope that you do not anger any of the Valar!_

_Best wishes,_

_-Aelwen_

Dear Aelwen,

As my brother currently has a broken leg right now, and he's too tired to respond to letters, I'll make due. I'm very sorry that your impression of us was a lasting impact of...well...Atar yelling at you. Truly, I am sorry. He always, erm, sets pictures of Indis on fire. Tyelkormo can't be as bad as the Ambarussa, yes, but he's just as bad as Curvo, who is on an entirely different scale of wickedness. I'm afraid Tyelkormo's not too well, but I'll pass on your sort-of-sympathies. He says thank-you, by the way.

I do believe I saw you at the event! Your hair was very lovely; worry not. Thank you very much for coming! I appreciated the support.

I hope I didn't anger any of the Valar...

Sincerely,

__Makalaur_ë_

Dear Aelwen,

Hah! It still hasn't grown back to full length? _Of course it hasn't, Telvo, do you think hair grows like Huan? _Oh, stuff it, Pityo. We're not afraid of you. _Yea, bring on the voodoo magic. We'll be the victors still. Pranking Week lives on!_

Not _sincerely,_

**Ambarussa**

* * *

><p><strong>So sorry that this is late; by the way, Tyelkormo's responses to the second half comes next! They are separate dates; worry not! Answer only one, please; responding to a mass amount kills people. :)<strong>


	13. Chapter 12

Hello everyone! I am back from the dead. Or the wounded. Whichever you prefer. As you may have found out from Makalaurë and the letter responses, yes, I have broken my leg. Damn boar. I hate boars. And Oromë is on my hitlist right now for making me bring it to the ground. Stupid thing swiped my leg and broke at the lower portion of the thigh bone. It hurt quite a lot.

But I'm back and answering letters!

* * *

><p><em>My dear Makalaurë and Tyelkormo, <em>

_I am writing to inform you that my family and I will, of course, be there. (But you do know that it would be rather hard for us not to be.) Father will send you a more formal answer, but it is quite dull, so I would not suggest reading it. I am quite excited to hear your latest musical, Kano. (Although I do feel a tad slighted that you did not ask if I would like to be in it.) I hope that you mean it when you say that steroids and Tulkas will not be mentioned at any point in the same (or contiguous) sentences. _

_Your affectionate cousin,_

_Findekáno_

_p.s. Turko, are we ever going to meet and exchange information? You seem to have been avoiding me. Perhaps this celebration would be a good time?_

Dear Findekáno,

I saw you there! Did you see me get drunk? I am laughing so hard right now—oh, damn, thumped my leg. Ignore the ink splatters. I read Uncle's answer; well, actually, I don't remember most of it. Just a: 'We would be delighted to attend, as the House of Nolofinwë—' and then my mind just clicked shut and I just read it without comprehending. I'm very sorry; I get bored easily.

_It had no such thing of steroids or Tulkas in there. What do you take me for, Káno? A suicidal idiot? That's Tyelkormo, for listening to Oromë! And I hope you two don't get yourselves killed for exchanging information of Maitimo. His temper is something great to earn the wrath of._

**Postscript: **Of course we'll meet and exchange information! Though I barely even got to see you at the celebration, we can always rendevouz at the waterfall. Today. Makalaurë's going to help me limp there, and then I'll have to ask you to take me back. And make sure Maitimo is nowhere in sight.

_Your equally affectionate (separately) cousins, (_Haha, Káno, beat that. -_Tyelkormo)_

_Tyelkormo and Makalaurë_

_(**Oy, Tyelkormo, shouldn't my name come first, since I'm older?**)  
><em>_(No.)  
><em>_(**Ink doesn't erase.**)  
><em>_(You don't say.)_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tyelkormo and Makalaure, <em>

_Unless something strange comes up out of the blue, my family will be attending the celebration. Finderato says that he will bring his harp, and Aikanaro and Angarato will most likely bring their drums. I hope they will sound better by then than they sound now, I can hardly concentrate on writing this because of the noise, which is probably why my letters are coming out so wobbly. _

_Makalaure, are you courting anyone, because I saw you again with this girl yesterday, or at least I thought it was you, kissing near the back garden wall, and then you slipped her a note and ran off._

_Anyway, thank you for the inviation,_

_Nerwen_

Dear Nerwen,

Did you miss me? I heard the comparison you gave me; I'm very flattered. And I noticed your calligraphy was as bit...off. For a moment, I thought you suffered the same fate as Guy Fawkes, this fictional character that Ammë had in her story...

_Nerwen...why would you think I am courting anyone? That was not me; I don't think. It could be Tyelkormo with a dark-haired wig—_

Don't listen to Makalaurë, he's just—

_You are an idiot, Tyelkormo, for ever thinking you could pose as me—_

It would have succeeded if you hadn't have been informed of it!

_You're very welcome for the invitation, Nerwen._

Sincerely,

_Makalaurë and Tyelkormo_

(_There. I put your name first, Kano._ Happy?)  
>(<em><strong>Very.)<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Greetings to you, dear Tyelkormo, and you as well, dear Makalaurë,<em>

_I would love to come but am wondering if the invitation counts for me as well. Or rather not, considering that I am not counting among the Noldor… And if I am not welcome, I would rather stay away for I dislike making you trouble. _

_Now Makalaurë, try to calm a little down, I know this may not be easy. But otherwise you will ruin yourself. Take a deep breath; there is nothing that can go wrong if you do not allow yourself to panic. Maybe take a rest I'm pretty sure one of your brothers would be able to take some of your work of your shoulders. For if you can't stay awake it would be difficult for you to perform. Or so I guess. _

_Greetings Quildemin,_

Greetings, Quildemin!

As you've probably heard, I have a broken leg. It's on the mend, thankfully, but I'm better now. I can limp by myself for short distances, like to—well, definitely not revisit the toilet room—get something to eat. I do believe I saw you there; you were dressed quite wonderfully. And if anyone made you feel unwelcome, tell me, so they might make it to my hitlist as well. One who treats a guest with hostility and not hospitality should be subject to the same conditions.

_Thank you very much, quildemin. Though Tyelkormo has responded to these letters beyond late, reading this still makes me feel much better. So I appreciate your sympathies!_

Sincerely,

_The two brothers (__ince putting our two names causes too much strife between whose name will be put first...)_

* * *

><p>Makalaurë, you're more immature that people take you for.<p>

_If I'm immature, you're the adult version of the Ambarussa._

I'm not that bad! Right?

...Right?

Makalaurë?


End file.
